Reading work jokes at work is still work, right? We like that, so we put up some work jokes to enjoy when we're bored at work.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid, is it?
Failure is not an option, it comes bundled with the software.
Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.
You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.
My resume is just a list of things I hope I never get asked to do.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It's a whisk I was willing to take.
An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
If work is so great, why do they have to pay you to do it?
Drinking after work is great, but if you want to enjoy work, drink before work.
Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.
If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can't speak English!
The reward for a job well done is more work.
I'm a recovering workaholic.
For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
I can't be fired. Slaves are sold!
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
