Funny Insults

               

Insults

Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously has never heard any good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.


InsultRatingVotes
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen. 149
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 296
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head 31
Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is. 50
Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick. 42
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? 19
It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer. 8
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. 97
I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it. 34
Well I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. 24
You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away! 9
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey. 11
You are proof that God has a sense of humor. 51
If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport! 22
You stare at frozen juice cans because they say, "concentrate". 24
You are so stupid, you'd trip over a cordless phone. 12
You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. 12
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma. 40
Shock me, say something intelligent. 13
Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around? 9
I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? 23
Come again when you can't stay quite so long. 7
You do realize makeup isn't going to fix your stupidity? 12
Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down 12
It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. 17
Your parents hated you so much you bath toys were an iron and a toaster 5
I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission! 13
Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live. 6
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? 13
Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin! 10
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole! 7
You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. 18
Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand. 11
Don't you need a license to be that ugly? 21
You occasionally stumble over the truth, but you quickly pick yourself up and carry on as if nothing happened. 5
If a crackhead saw you, he'd think he needs to go on a diet. 5
Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too. 26
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight. 21
Being around you is like having a cancer of the soul. 7
You're as useless as a screen door on a submarine. 10
Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside. 10
You are so old, you fart dust. 13
I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. 4
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror? 8
Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid! 5
We all sprang from apes, but you didn't spring far enough. 11
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control! 6
If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable. 4
Nice tan, orange is my favorite color. 4
I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative. 9
The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. 8
100,000 sperm, you were the fastest? 8
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? 7
If you had another brain, it would be lonely. 7
Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing. 9
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! 9
You must think you're strong, but you only smell strong. 4
You'll make a great first wife some day. 7
If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you. 10
Yeah you're pretty, pretty stupid 3
Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap. 14
I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving. 10
You act like your arrogance is a virtue. 5
If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. 6
You're as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 8
Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down. 6
Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness. 5
Your mom must have a really loud bark! 6
Are your parents siblings? 17
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone. 6
For those who never forget a face, you are an exception. 7
You're the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar. 7
When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet. 8
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot. 2
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside. 20
You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. 17
Please tell me you don't home-school your kids. 11
People like you are the reason I work out. 11
You're stupid because you're blonde. 58

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