Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.

The Best Insults

You're as useless as a knitted condom.
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement!
You're as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense.
The waves won't be the only thing you'll be riding today.
You're not funny, but your life, now that's a joke.
You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit
I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.
The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!
Why don't you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open?
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I'd get change.
Do you know how long it takes for your mother to take a crap? Nine months.
You're so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks.
The barista may have forgotten your name, but I sure won't.
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'
Are you my appendix? I have a gut feeling I should take you out.

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