GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

The Best Fat Roasts on the Internet

Fat roasts are a pillar of roast-battle culture, and this page is the armoury: years of reader-submitted material, voted into order so the most savage lines sit at the top. They are written for consenting combat — roast battles, group chats and friends who give exactly as good as they get. Expect exaggeration at planetary scale, comparisons to large landmarks, and the occasional line clever enough to earn respect mid-war. Aimed at strangers these stop being roasts and start being cruelty, so pick your arena before you pick your line.


Top Rated Fat Roasts & Insults

You're an absolute gluttonous beast, and the only exercise you get is lifting a fork to your mouth.
You're so fat, you make a sumo wrestler look like a supermodel.
People mistake you for a planet because of the gravitational pull you have on their food.
You're the reason they invented double doors!
The only thing bigger than your waistline is your ego, you self-absorbed blimp.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow rain coat people scream ''taxi''.
Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down
At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.
Too fat to find a job? You could always become a 4-chin teller.
There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket!
When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?
You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit
Looks like you traded in your neck for an extra chin!
You've reached that awkward stage of being fat were I can't tell your gender!
You're so fat, your belly button has its own zip code.
You're so fat, you have to strap a beeper on your belt to warn people you are backing up.
Just wait till you can't fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from?
I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you, because if I did, you'd eat it. You're fat.
Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds.
You have enough fat to make another human.
You're so fat, you could sell shade.
You must be on the seafood diet. When you see food, you eat it!
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational field that repels any form of attractiveness.
Your body is so repulsive, it's like a walking advertisement for obesity.
You look like a before picture.
Looking at you is like witnessing the aftermath of a buffet massacre.
You're so fat, when you sit around the house, you really sit around the house.
You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall!
You're so fat, when you take a shower your feet don't get wet!
You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You were dragged through dumbass forest.

Getting the most from Fat Insults

Roast battles have rules even when nobody says them out loud: everyone opted in, everyone gets a turn, and the target laughs hardest. This page is roast-battle ammunition — ranked by reader votes so the truly savage material sits at the top. Group chats, gaming lobbies and long-running friend feuds are the natural venues.

The make-someone-cry tier is real, and the votes label it clearly. Aim it only at people who signed up for the war.

You're so fat, your double chin has its own gravitational pull.
You're so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.
I'm not saying you're fat, but I heard the cookie jar is considering a restraining order against you.
You're so fat, you leave a trail of grease wherever you go, like a slimy slug.
The mere sight of you is enough to make anyone lose their appetite.
Are you in some kind of fitness protection program?
I'm not saying you're fat, but it looks like you were poured into your clothes and someone forgot to say "when"
Your neck is so fat that I can't tell where your jaw line is.
You're so fat, your double chin has a double chin.
You're a light eater alright. As soon as it gets light, you starts eating.
Looking at you is like staring into the abyss of gluttony and self-destruction.
Your existence is a testament to overindulgence and a complete lack of self-control.
Your rolls of blubber are like a roadmap to heart disease and diabetes.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head
You're so fat, if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take their word for it!
You're so repulsive, even the most desperate and lonely individuals wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole.
Your body is a testament to gluttony and a complete disregard for any form of self-respect.
You're so fat, you sweat gravy.
People like you are the reason I work out.
Your body is a gravitational force that sucks all joy and beauty out of any room you enter.
I'm not fat-shaming, I'm just concerned that your double chin has its own chin, and it's judging me.
You must be a time traveler from ancient Egypt, because you're definitely a pyramid with a food addiction.
I'm not saying you're fat, but when you walk down the street, people think the parade is starting and they all grab a bag of peanuts.
Your grotesque figure is a walking advertisement for heart disease and early death.
You're a prime example of wasted potential and mediocrity.
No amount of makeup or surgery could ever salvage the disaster that is your appearance.
Your sheer laziness and lack of ambition are as repugnant as your physical appearance.
You're so fat your shadow casts a shadow.
Get off your high horse! You're too fat and the horse is in pain.
You're so fat your belly button has an echo echo echo...
You're so fat, when you jump in the air, you get stuck!
You know you're fat when no one has mentioned you're also ginger.
Every time someone calls you fat I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.

Roast responsibly

The difference between a roast and plain cruelty is consent: a roast happens between people who chose the game, trade turns, and would defend each other to anyone outside the circle. Inside it, the harder the line lands the bigger the laugh — which is why the top-voted material here is also the most brutal.

Fired at strangers or someone already down, the same words are just bullying with better wordplay, and everyone can tell. Keep it in the group chat, the lobby and the battle, take as good as you give, and know when the round is over. The ugly roasts and useless-as sayings are next door, and the comebacks collection arms the other side.