The ugly insult is a classic of the form, and this page has our full run of them, sorted by reader votes so the sharpest sit at the top. They are built for roast battles, group chats and friends who enjoy being savaged. Expect mirrors, comparisons to various animals and objects, and a good number that are far more creative than the subject really requires. Best kept between people who know each other well — the same line that gets a laugh among friends is just unkind aimed at a stranger.
Greatest Ugly Roasts and Insults
You're so repulsive, it's a wonder flies don't swarm around you like you're a decomposing corpse.
Your face is so ugly, it could make a blind man gag on his own vomit.
The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
I've seen better-looking scarecrows in cornfields than you.
You're so ugly, when you walk through a haunted house, you come out with a paycheck.
You're such a pathetic excuse for a human being that even bacteria would turn their noses up at the thought of infecting you.
If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't.
You have a face that could make a train take a dirt road.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.
Looking at you is like staring into the depths of hell, a grotesque abomination of nature.
If ugliness was a profession, you'd be the CEO.
I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!
You're so ugly, when you popped out the doctor said "Aww what a treasure" and your mom said "Yeah, lets bury it."
If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
You're so ugly you scare the shit back into people.
Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.
Your mother hasn't smiled since the car accident. By that I mean the moment you were conceived in the back seat.
Even the most skilled plastic surgeon in the world would throw up their hands in defeat at the sight of your face.
Your appearance is an affront to the very concept of beauty, a walking abomination.
Your face is like a train wreck, impossible to look away from despite the horror it invokes.
Congratulations, you've managed to achieve a level of ugliness that defies all known standards of aesthetics.
Your face is a visual assault, a crime against humanity that should be punishable by law.
What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back?
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
There's only one problem with your face, I can see it.
The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.
Oh my God, look at you. Was anyone else hurt in the accident?
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
If there was a contest for the ugliest person in the world, you'd win by a landslide.
I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement!
You're the best at all you do - and all you do is make people hate you.
You're so ugly you make blind kids cry.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
You're so ugly, when you got robbed, the robbers made you wear their masks.
The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.
Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.
You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.
The last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand tore through your toilet paper.
I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
If my dog had your face, I would shave his butt and make him walk backwards.
Your hockey team made you goalie so you'd have to wear a mask.
I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job.
Your face makes onions cry.
You're so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator.
Looks aren't everything; in your case, they aren't anything
With a face like yours, I'd wish I was blind.
People run screaming from you, not because you're a monster, but because your ugliness is truly terrifying.
Your existence is proof that natural selection has failed miserably, allowing the weakest and most repugnant specimens to survive.
You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
You should eat some of your make up so you can be pretty on the inside.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
You're so ugly, I'm starting to think you're a master of disguise – disguising a beautiful soul under that face.
You're so ugly, you made a scarecrow win a beauty pageant by comparison.
Your face is like a puzzle, and all the pieces are in the wrong places.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but I've seen more attractive traffic accidents.
Your ugliness is like a work of art – it's unique, captivating, and makes me question the sanity of the creator.
You're so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you.
You're so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you!
Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
You're not exactly bad looking. There's just one little problem between your ears - your face!
God made mountains, God made trees, God made you but we all make mistakes.
Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?
Your ugliness is so profound, it could make a horror movie director run out of ideas.
Your face is so hideous, it could make a blind person weep in agony.
Your face looks like it was designed by Picasso during a drunken stupor.
Your appearance is so repulsive, it could curdle milk from a hundred yards away.
Your face could make a haunted house seem like a pleasant vacation spot.
I've seen roadkill that's more visually appealing than your sorry excuse for a face.
Nice tan, orange is my favorite color.
I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
Looking at you is like staring into the abyss of ugliness, a never-ending nightmare.
I may be drunk, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober.
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
You're so ugly, if you stuck your head out the window, they'd arrest you for mooning!
You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.
Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles.
You have a very sympathetic face. It has everyone's sympathy.
You're so ugly words can't explain it. So I'll just go throw up.
The sheer sight of you is enough to make innocent bystanders lose their appetite and question the cruelty of the universe.
If ugliness were a crime, you'd be serving a life sentence without parole.
Your mirror must have the patience of a saint to endure the sight of your hideous reflection every day.
Your ugliness is so profound, it could make a blind person cry tears of despair.
Your face is like a failed science experiment, a grotesque mutation of mismatched features.
Your ugliness is like a curse, a constant reminder of the cruelty of fate.
You have a face that could turn milk sour and wilt flowers.
Your appearance is so repugnant, it could make a sewage treatment plant smell like a field of roses.
People avoid you like the plague, not just because of your ugliness, but because you radiate a putrid stench of repulsiveness.
Your mirror must be traumatized from having to reflect your hideous visage day after day.
