GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Lines Ripped From the Headlines

News moves fast, and so do the jokes. This page collects pick up lines built around world events, headlines and whatever everyone happened to be talking about that month, ranked by reader votes. Some have aged well. Others are a small time capsule of a news cycle that felt enormous at the time and is now barely a memory, which is part of the appeal. They work best in the moment, so the ones near the top tend to be whatever is current. Expect a mix of genuinely topical and thoroughly out of date.

The Best Events

If the Coronavirus doesn't take you out, can I?
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?
Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?
Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face.
Roses are red Violets are blue If I end up in quarantine I hope it's with you.
Even during the coronavirus pandemic, the most contagious thing is still your smile.
Wanna make plans that we have to cancel?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again?
Our country is making a lot of mistakes during this crisis. Can I be yours?
Do you want to be my date to the end of the world?
Wanna get closer than 6 feet?
Did the coronavirus give you a fever? Because you're hot!
Is that pneumonia in my lungs or has your smile just left me breathless?
You're the only snacc I wanna stock up on!
I've got plenty of food and TP — want to bunker down with me?
Want to watch ‘Contagion' together? I heard it's a good way to exercise our fears.
If you need someone to self-isolate with I make a mean Quarantini.
Wow, you're so beautiful I wish we could be in quarantine together!
Wanna play coronavirus and get spread on hard surfaces?
So, Skype, Facetime or Google Hangouts for the first date?
Netflix and facetime?
The only thing not quarantined is my heart when I look at you.
Can't spell quarantine without U-R-A-Q-T.
Since all the libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead.
Are you the vaccine? Because the whole world is chasing you.
My admiration of you could never be quarantined.
Do you need toilet paper because I will be your Prince Charmin.
Wanna be my date for the end of the world?
The Coronavirus might have shut everything down, but I'm still open for business.
More Events categories: Quarantine and Isolation · COVID-19 and Coronavirus
I bet you'd look beautiful even with a face mask on.
Are you social distancing? Because I’d love to be six feet closer to your heart.
You must be my quarantine bubble, because I feel safest and happiest with you.
Is your Wi-Fi strong, or did my connection to you just drop?
Are you a video call? Because you’re the highlight of my stay-at-home schedule.
You’re the only person I’d share my last roll of toilet paper with.
Did you disinfect that smile? Because it’s dangerously contagious.
Are you my lockdown playlist? Because I can’t stop putting you on repeat.
You must be homemade bread, because you’re rising to the occasion of my lonely heart.
If beauty were measured in canceled plans, you’d be absolutely gorgeous.
Are you a face mask? Because you cover up, but I can still tell you’re adorable.
I’m no epidemiologist, but I think we have undeniable chemistry.
You’re the only reason I’d turn my camera on during a video call.
Are you my quarantine snack? Because I keep coming back to you every few minutes.
I’d cross any virtual background just to stand beside you in real life.
Did we just make eye contact through our webcams, or did my heart buffer?
You’re more comforting than a fresh delivery of groceries.
Are you a lockdown haircut? Because you’re a little unexpected, but somehow still cute.
I’m practicing social distancing, but my feelings for you are getting dangerously close.
If we were quarantined together, I’d let you choose the movie—even the bad ones.
You must be hand sanitizer, because you make my heart feel clean and tingly.
Are you working from home, or are you just professionally distracting?
You’re the only notification I hope interrupts my doomscrolling.
Are you a government-approved reason to leave home? Because I need to see you.
I don’t need a vaccine to catch feelings for you.
You’re so attractive, even my quarantine hair wants to meet you.
If loneliness were contagious, you’d be the perfect cure.
Are you my daily step count? Because you give me a reason to get moving.
I’d socially distance from everyone but you—strictly in my imagination, of course.
You’re the only person I’d unmute myself for.
Are you a contactless delivery? Because you’ve delivered joy straight to my doorstep.
I may be stuck indoors, but my heart has found a way to wander toward you.
Your smile is more uplifting than finding toilet paper in stock.
Are you my quarantine routine? Because without you, every day feels exactly the same.
I’d share my sourdough starter with you, and that’s basically a marriage proposal.
I'm not sure if I'm blinded by your beauty or if that's another side effect of Covid-19.
Need a hand sanitizer massage?
Contagious smile. Infectious laughter. If looks could kill, you'd be COVID-19.
Are you Covid-19? Because you make me hot and short of breath!
Girl, do you have Coronavirus? Cuz you're looking sick!
Are you a rapid test? Because you just turned my maybe into a very clear positive.
I’d keep six feet away, but my heart is already six miles ahead of me.
Is your name Moderna? Because you’ve seriously boosted my interest.
Are you wearing a mask, or did your eyes just become this dangerously charming?
We’re supposed to avoid close contact, but I’d make an exception for your smile.
You must be an antibody, because you’ve got my defenses completely disarmed.
Are you quarantine? Because I could happily spend fourteen days alone with you.
I tested negative for everything except an undeniable attraction to you.
Is this a socially distanced pickup line, or did I just cross the line?
You’re the only exposure notification I’d be excited to receive.
Are you hand sanitizer? Because you make my palms sweaty in the best possible way.
Call me a vaccine, because I’d love to be your first dose of romance.
I know we should stay six feet apart, but could we meet halfway at three?
Are you a contact tracer? Because I’d love to explain how we connected.
You’ve got me feeling positive, and for once, I’m not worried about the test.
If attraction were contagious, we’d both be in mandatory isolation by now.
Are you my quarantine pod? Because I feel safest—and happiest—with you.
I’d share my last roll of toilet paper with you. That’s practically a proposal.
You must be a face shield, because you protect my heart from bad decisions.
Are you an N95? Because you’re a perfect fit and hard to get.
I can’t promise immunity, but I can promise symptoms of butterflies.
Is your love language social distancing? Because I’m happy to give you space—beside me.
You’re more comforting than a fresh delivery of snacks during lockdown.
Are you a PCR test? Because I keep thinking about you, even after hours of waiting.
I’d invite you into my quarantine bubble, but fair warning: it’s mostly snacks and feelings.
Did you just sanitize your hands, or did you wipe away all my other options?
We may be six feet apart, but you’re living rent-free in my thoughts.
Are you a vaccine appointment? Because I’ve been waiting all day for you.
I don’t need a symptom checker to know you make my heart race.
You’re the only person I’d willingly mute my pandemic news for.
Are you a lockdown? Because the moment I saw you, everything else stopped.

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More categories: Quarantine and Isolation · COVID-19 and Coronavirus
If the Coronavirus doesn't take you out, can I? If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me? Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?