Pick Up Lines for Quarantine and Self-Isolation

For a while in 2020 the only available flirting was done at a distance, and people got inventive. This is our collection of quarantine and self-isolation pick up lines, ranked by reader votes — social distancing, video calls, lockdown haircuts and being stuck indoors with far too much time. They are a genuine time capsule now. Some still work as jokes about staying in, and a few are funnier with hindsight than they were at the time. Mostly they are here as a record of what everyone was reduced to.

The Best Quarantine and Isolation

Describe the type of pick up lines you want:

Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?

Roses are red Violets are blue If I end up in quarantine I hope it's with you.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again?

Wanna make plans that we have to cancel?

Do you want to be my date to the end of the world?

Wanna get closer than 6 feet?

You're the only snacc I wanna stock up on!

I've got plenty of food and TP â€” want to bunker down with me?

Wow, you're so beautiful I wish we could be in quarantine together!

If you need someone to self-isolate with I make a mean Quarantini.

So, Skype, Facetime or Google Hangouts for the first date?

The only thing not quarantined is my heart when I look at you.

Can't spell quarantine without U-R-A-Q-T.

Since all the libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead.

Netflix and facetime?

My admiration of you could never be quarantined.

Wanna be my date for the end of the world?

Do you need toilet paper because I will be your Prince Charmin.

Your quarantine outfit is so cute, it deserves its own dress code.

Are you a quarantine countdown? Because I’m counting every moment until I can see you.

Your laugh is more contagious than anything I caught during lockdown.

I’d put on real pants for you, and that’s how you know this is serious.

Are you a canceled flight? Because you’ve completely rerouted my plans.

You must be a balcony serenade, because you’ve brightened my entire building.

I’m stuck at home, but you’ve got my heart traveling first class.

Are you my favorite streaming service? Because you keep me entertained and emotionally invested.

You’re the only outbreak I’d welcome in my heart.

I’d let you invade my personal space, provided we both wash our hands afterward.

Are you a video-call filter? Because you make everything look better.

I’m not saying you’re essential, but my heart refuses to function without you.

Are you an online grocery slot? Because I’ve been waiting forever for someone like you.

You must be a fresh batch of cookies, because you make staying home irresistible.

I’d send you a virtual hug, but honestly, I’m hoping for the real upgrade.

Are you my home office? Because I’d love to spend all day with you.

You’re hotter than my laptop after a six-hour video call.

If we were both wearing masks, I’d still recognize you by the way you make me smile.

I’d share my sourdough starter with you, and that’s basically a marriage proposal.

Are you a quarantine puzzle? Because I could spend all day figuring out how to win your heart.

I’d share my entire streaming password with you, no questions asked.

I’d send you my last clean hoodie, and that’s true quarantine romance.

Are you a contact tracer? Because you’ve tracked down my heart.

You’re the only reason I’d willingly leave my blanket fort.

I don’t need a hair salon to fall for you; your messy lockdown look is perfect.

Are you a lockdown hobby? Because I started thinking about you and now I can’t stop.

Your eyes are brighter than the ring light I use for video calls.

I’d let you choose the next TikTok challenge if it meant spending time together.

You must be a virtual date, because you’re far away but still making my heart race.

Are you my quarantine calendar? Because every date with you is circled.

You’re the only person I’d willingly share my isolation snacks with.

You’re the only bubble I want to be part of.

Are you an antibody? Because you’re giving me serious protection from loneliness.

I’d be happy to be trapped in an elevator with you—as long as it has Wi-Fi.

You make my heart race faster than a surprise knock during lockdown.

Are you a stay-at-home order? Because you’ve commanded all my attention.

I’d risk a terrible Zoom background just to impress you.

You’re so cute, even my webcam refuses to show your bad angle.

Are you my delivery driver? Because you just dropped something wonderful at my emotional doorstep.

I don’t need a dating app when the universe already matched me with you.

Are you a face mask? Because you cover up, but I can still tell you’re adorable.

If we were quarantined together, I’d let you choose the movie—even the bad ones.

I’m practicing social distancing, but my feelings for you are getting dangerously close.

Are you a lockdown haircut? Because you’re a little unexpected, but somehow still cute.

You’re more comforting than a fresh delivery of groceries.

Did we just make eye contact through our webcams, or did my heart buffer?

I’d cross any virtual background just to stand beside you in real life.

Are you my quarantine snack? Because I keep coming back to you every few minutes.

You’re the only reason I’d turn my camera on during a video call.

I’m no epidemiologist, but I think we have undeniable chemistry.

I’d trade twelve months of sweatpants for one socially distanced date with you.

If beauty were measured in canceled plans, you’d be absolutely gorgeous.

You must be homemade bread, because you’re rising to the occasion of my lonely heart.

Are you my lockdown playlist? Because I can’t stop putting you on repeat.

Did you disinfect that smile? Because it’s dangerously contagious.

You’re the only person I’d share my last roll of toilet paper with.

Are you a video call? Because you’re the highlight of my stay-at-home schedule.

Is your Wi-Fi strong, or did my connection to you just drop?

You must be my quarantine bubble, because I feel safest and happiest with you.

Are you social distancing? Because I’d love to be six feet closer to your heart.

Are you working from home, or are you just professionally distracting?

You’re the reason my screen time report is embarrassing.

Are you a lockdown loophole? Because you’re the only thing I can’t stop thinking about.

You must be my favorite houseplant, because I want to keep you close and help you grow.

I like my distance six feet, but I’d prefer my distance from you to be zero.

Are you a Zoom meeting? Because I’m nervous, underprepared, and hoping you notice me.

I’d brave a supermarket queue just to buy you flowers.

Are you my quarantine routine? Because without you, every day feels exactly the same.

Your smile is more uplifting than finding toilet paper in stock.

I may be stuck indoors, but my heart has found a way to wander toward you.

Are you a contactless delivery? Because you’ve delivered joy straight to my doorstep.

You’re the only person I’d unmute myself for.

I’d socially distance from everyone but you—strictly in my imagination, of course.

Are you my daily step count? Because you give me a reason to get moving.

If loneliness were contagious, you’d be the perfect cure.

You’re so attractive, even my quarantine hair wants to meet you.

I don’t need a vaccine to catch feelings for you.

Are you a government-approved reason to leave home? Because I need to see you.

You’re the only notification I hope interrupts my doomscrolling.

You must be hand sanitizer, because you make my heart feel clean and tingly.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters between them.