Pick Up Lines for Quarantine and Self-Isolation

For a while in 2020 the only available flirting was done at a distance, and people got inventive. This is our collection of quarantine and self-isolation pick up lines, ranked by reader votes — social distancing, video calls, lockdown haircuts and being stuck indoors with far too much time. They are a genuine time capsule now. Some still work as jokes about staying in, and a few are funnier with hindsight than they were at the time. Mostly they are here as a record of what everyone was reduced to.

The Best Quarantine and Isolation

Describe the type of pick up lines you want:

Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you just happy to be within 6 feet of me?

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you keep it six feet away from me?

Roses are red Violets are blue If I end up in quarantine I hope it's with you.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past your house on the other side of the street again?

Wanna make plans that we have to cancel?

Do you want to be my date to the end of the world?

Wanna get closer than 6 feet?

You're the only snacc I wanna stock up on!

I've got plenty of food and TP â€” want to bunker down with me?

Wow, you're so beautiful I wish we could be in quarantine together!

If you need someone to self-isolate with I make a mean Quarantini.

So, Skype, Facetime or Google Hangouts for the first date?

Can't spell quarantine without U-R-A-Q-T.

The only thing not quarantined is my heart when I look at you.

Since all the libraries are closed, I'm checking you out instead.

Netflix and facetime?

My admiration of you could never be quarantined.

Do you need toilet paper because I will be your Prince Charmin.

Wanna be my date for the end of the world?

If loneliness were contagious, you’d be the perfect cure.

I’m practicing social distancing, but my feelings for you are getting dangerously close.

If we were quarantined together, I’d let you choose the movie—even the bad ones.

You must be hand sanitizer, because you make my heart feel clean and tingly.

Are you working from home, or are you just professionally distracting?

You’re the only notification I hope interrupts my doomscrolling.

Are you a government-approved reason to leave home? Because I need to see you.

I don’t need a vaccine to catch feelings for you.

You’re so attractive, even my quarantine hair wants to meet you.

I’d share my sourdough starter with you, and that’s basically a marriage proposal.

Are you my daily step count? Because you give me a reason to get moving.

I’d socially distance from everyone but you—strictly in my imagination, of course.

You’re the only person I’d unmute myself for.

Are you a contactless delivery? Because you’ve delivered joy straight to my doorstep.

I may be stuck indoors, but my heart has found a way to wander toward you.

Your smile is more uplifting than finding toilet paper in stock.

Are you my quarantine routine? Because without you, every day feels exactly the same.

I’d brave a supermarket queue just to buy you flowers.

You’re more comforting than a fresh delivery of groceries.

Are you social distancing? Because I’d love to be six feet closer to your heart.

You must be my quarantine bubble, because I feel safest and happiest with you.

Is your Wi-Fi strong, or did my connection to you just drop?

Are you a video call? Because you’re the highlight of my stay-at-home schedule.

You’re the only person I’d share my last roll of toilet paper with.

Did you disinfect that smile? Because it’s dangerously contagious.

Are you my lockdown playlist? Because I can’t stop putting you on repeat.

You must be homemade bread, because you’re rising to the occasion of my lonely heart.

If beauty were measured in canceled plans, you’d be absolutely gorgeous.

Are you a face mask? Because you cover up, but I can still tell you’re adorable.

I’m no epidemiologist, but I think we have undeniable chemistry.

You’re the only reason I’d turn my camera on during a video call.

Are you my quarantine snack? Because I keep coming back to you every few minutes.

I’d cross any virtual background just to stand beside you in real life.

Did we just make eye contact through our webcams, or did my heart buffer?

Are you a lockdown haircut? Because you’re a little unexpected, but somehow still cute.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd keep U and I exactly where they are, with eleven letters between them.