Coronavirus, COVID-19, SARS-COV2 Pick Up Lines

These were written when the pandemic was the only thing anyone was talking about, and the jokes reflect it. This is our set of COVID-19 and coronavirus pick up lines, ranked by reader votes, covering masks, distancing, testing, vaccines and the general strangeness of that period. They read very differently now than when they were submitted. A few still work as general jokes about keeping your distance; most are best understood as a snapshot of the humour people reached for when there was very little else to laugh at.

The Best COVID-19 and Coronavirus

Describe the type of pick up lines you want:

If the Coronavirus doesn't take you out, can I?

Are you an N95 mask? Cause I want you on my face.

Even during the coronavirus pandemic, the most contagious thing is still your smile.

Our country is making a lot of mistakes during this crisis. Can I be yours?

Did the coronavirus give you a fever? Because you're hot!

Is that pneumonia in my lungs or has your smile just left me breathless?

Want to watch â€˜Contagion' together? I heard it's a good way to exercise our fears.

Wanna play coronavirus and get spread on hard surfaces?

Are you the vaccine? Because the whole world is chasing you.

The Coronavirus might have shut everything down, but I'm still open for business.

I bet you'd look beautiful even with a face mask on.

You’re my favorite kind of positive result.

Are you a sanitizer station? Because I keep coming back for another little squeeze.

You’re the only outbreak I’d want spreading through my entire friend group.

I’m following all health guidance, except the part about not falling for you.

Is that a vaccine in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me after months indoors?

You must be herd immunity, because together we could overcome anything.

I’d quarantine with you, provided you agree to choose the streaming service.

Are you a temperature check? Because you just made things significantly hotter.

Would you like to form a two-person household and overanalyze every text together?

I don’t need a symptom checker to know you make my heart race.

If we were contact-traced, our story would begin with “they met and instantly clicked.”

My mask says “stay back,” but my eyes are clearly saying “come closer.”

Are you a lockdown? Because the moment I saw you, everything else stopped.

You’re the only person I’d willingly mute my pandemic news for.

Are you a vaccine appointment? Because I’ve been waiting all day for you.

You’ve got me more excited than finding flour in stock during lockdown.

We could keep six feet apart and still have chemistry strong enough to transmit through Wi-Fi.

I’ve got no fever, cough, or loss of taste—just a serious taste for you.

Let’s skip the small talk and compare our favorite quarantine snacks.

Are you my emergency contact? Because I want you at the top of my list.

I’d wear a mask for you, but my blush is already giving me away.

You make my social battery recover faster than a canceled plan.

Are you a negative test? Because seeing you would make my whole week better.

We can take it slow: first a wave, then a video call, then destiny.

You must be essential, because my day doesn’t function without you.

Are you a quarantine haircut? Because you’re unexpectedly attractive and slightly chaotic.

If you were a vaccine, I’d book every booster just to see you again.

I’d let you into my bubble, even though it’s already at maximum capacity.

Are you a mask tie? Because you’ve got me all wrapped up.

You’re the only notification I’d check during a meeting about staying home.

I’d cross any empty supermarket aisle just to say hello from a safe distance.

Are you a public-health briefing? Because I’m hanging on every word you say.

Are you hand sanitizer? Because you make my palms sweaty in the best possible way.

I'm not sure if I'm blinded by your beauty or if that's another side effect of Covid-19.

Need a hand sanitizer massage?

Contagious smile. Infectious laughter. If looks could kill, you'd be COVID-19.

Are you Covid-19? Because you make me hot and short of breath!

Girl, do you have Coronavirus? Cuz you're looking sick!

Are you a rapid test? Because you just turned my maybe into a very clear positive.

I’d keep six feet away, but my heart is already six miles ahead of me.

Is your name Moderna? Because you’ve seriously boosted my interest.

Are you wearing a mask, or did your eyes just become this dangerously charming?

We’re supposed to avoid close contact, but I’d make an exception for your smile.

You must be an antibody, because you’ve got my defenses completely disarmed.

Are you quarantine? Because I could happily spend fourteen days alone with you.

I tested negative for everything except an undeniable attraction to you.

Is this a socially distanced pickup line, or did I just cross the line?

You’re the only exposure notification I’d be excited to receive.

You must be a face shield, because you protect my heart from bad decisions.

Did you just sanitize your hands, or did you wipe away all my other options?

I’d invite you into my quarantine bubble, but fair warning: it’s mostly snacks and feelings.

Are you a PCR test? Because I keep thinking about you, even after hours of waiting.

You’re more comforting than a fresh delivery of snacks during lockdown.

Is your love language social distancing? Because I’m happy to give you space—beside me.

I can’t promise immunity, but I can promise symptoms of butterflies.

Are you an N95? Because you’re a perfect fit and hard to get.

We may be six feet apart, but you’re living rent-free in my thoughts.

I’d share my last roll of toilet paper with you. That’s practically a proposal.

Are you my quarantine pod? Because I feel safest—and happiest—with you.

If attraction were contagious, we’d both be in mandatory isolation by now.

You’ve got me feeling positive, and for once, I’m not worried about the test.

Are you a contact tracer? Because I’d love to explain how we connected.

I know we should stay six feet apart, but could we meet halfway at three?

Call me a vaccine, because I’d love to be your first dose of romance.

Are you coronavirus? Because you're giving me a fever.