Life Related Pick Up Lines

Not every chat-up line is about a job, a hobby or a holiday. This page collects the ones about life in general — getting older, being tired, money, work, and the low-level chaos of ordinary existence. They are ranked by reader votes, and the ones that rise tend to be the honest ones, because shared exhaustion turns out to be a decent basis for a conversation. They work on anyone old enough to find the truth funnier than the fantasy, which is most people after about twenty-five.

The Best Life

Describe the type of pick up lines you want:

You're so beautiful, when I look at you my heart starts beatingâ€¦ I think.

This food's going to taste great! Don't worry, you will too.

Would you be so kind as to lend me your heart, or shall I cut it out myself?

Call the cops... See who comes first.

If I bit my lip, would you kiss it better? [when she does, rip her face off with teeth]

This cold ain't as infectious as your smile.

You look much more attractive in person than you do through my telescope.

You're the girl of my nightmares.

Are you a loan? Because you're gaining my interest... Capitalism is ruining my life.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together at an MGMT show.

Wanna give me the d? That means death, please euthanize me.

Netflix and kill me? Release me from the prison of existence.

I've got quick hands, a fast horse, and strong arms that can hold you tight all night long.

You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.

If I had a nickel for every day I've been wanting to be with a girl like you, I still wouldn't be able to pay off my father's crippling gambling debts that tore apart my family.

I heard you like bad boys? Well I'm bad, at everything.

You're hotter than my fever.

Are you a noose? Cause I'd love to hang out with you some time!

Hey baby, let's lay and learn what each other's bodies are for.

You're like a cut on my wrist... people like you hurt me, but I keep getting more.

Hey baby, wanna boldly go where no man has been before?

Hey baby, Is your name clinical depression? Because you make me want to stay in bed all day trapped beneath your weight.

Can I curl up in your arms and let the beat of your heart soothe me to sleep? Because that sounds absolutely lovely.

I'm going to make like Toy Story and get Buzzed so I can play with your Woody.

Like a broken pencil, life without happiness is pointless.

You bleach your hair? Im the same way! I bleach the bloodstains out of my carpet!

Are you my anti-depression pills? Because I can't smile without you.

I'm looking for treasure, mind if I explore your chest?

I thought for a second I died and went to heaven when I saw your sad face, but then you smiled and I am alive and heaven has been brought to me.

I like my men like I like my coffee....I don't like coffee.

Oh you're a Libra? That's so weird! So were my other three vic... Dates!

Hey wanna play softball, we can take turns pitching and catching.

Roses are red, your underwear is lace, take them off and sit on my face.

With calves like that, you should be a cowgirl.

Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nutstighten up.

Hey, wanna come home with me? I guess you'll do for tonight.

Is it hot in here or is it just the fire I've lit in your hair?

Is your father a lumberjack? I'm great with carpentry and haven't had work in a while.

Are you from Tennessee? Because that's the only state I'm not wanted in.

Hey baby, wanna practice for your second husband?

Want to get some air? Oh wait, I ate your lungs.

The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement!

I want to make a lampshade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

Hey girl are you the sun? Because you're brighter than my future.

I'm throwing a house party... and the only person invited is you

Are you a corn field, because I'm stalking you.

Hay girl, are you crippling depression? Because I'm going to be in bed curled up with you all day!

I just want to be upfront and say that I visually enjoy you.

I want to give you my heart. Literally, because it would kill me.

Wanna smash? Me over the head with this brick.

Come into the kitchen and I'll show you how I put the counter in counterculture.

Nice outfit. I wish I could pull that off.

If sad looks could kill, yours would be a weapon of mass destruction.

Tomorrow there'll only be 7 planets left cuz tonight...I'm destroying Uranus.

Oh my god, do we have the same bra on? Let's look and see!

Hey can I borrow your lipstick and your lips.

If I could, I'd get rid of all of the chairs in the world so that you'd have to sit on my face.

Oh, you're straight. So is spaghetti until it gets hot.

The only thing straight about me is my teeth.

Is your name Oliver? Cause in a minute you're gonna be Oliver this dick.

Hey girl come to columbia. We got a whole foods AND an earthfare down the road.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy!

Are you from heaven? Cause I can send you back.

Your skin is so soft, it would make a great mask.

I lost my number. I'd ask for yours, but I'd probably lose your number too.

Girl, are you Canadian? because I feel sorry for myself.

Are you a burger cuz you can be the meat between my buns

The UPS office called. They told me I need to check your package.

I've fallen for you so hard, I can't think straight.

Do you like it in the can? And I don't mean PBR.

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

Are you clinical depression? Cause you make me wanna kill myself.

Hey girl, I put the sensual in non-consensual.

You might want to call a bomb squad, because there's going to be an explosion in your anus.

I think you're suffering from a lack on vitamin me.

If you and I were the last men on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

Wanna come over and see my vinyl collection?

I wanna rope you, but I don't want to give you rope burn.

Oh, you're straight? So is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet.

I'd call you mine if you just smiled.

You and my cardiac stent have something in common, my heart needs you.

I just wanna make like, crazy science with you.

I think you're the cure I've been searching for.

What's your favorite Baudelaire poem?

May I dig my nails into your back?

I never knew hellish demons flew so close to the ground.

That's a nice black lace Victorian-era corset. But it would look nicer crumpled up in a ball on my bedroom floor!

You're so hot! I'd like to date you before you're cool!

I am a hot lesbian, hold my hand.

Hi. I play harmonica in Arcade Fire. Wanna bang?

What's your gear ratio?

Well hey there darlin, wanna see my lasso?

I have 8 inches of plastic for you.

Would you and your friend like to get some team roping?

Hey missy, I wouldn't mind throwin a lasso around your boots and a pullin you this a way.

You sure have white teeth, you must brush em!

You have the cutest smile when you sleep.

I only thought about you once today. I just never stopped.

I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U...

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

1 2 3 4 5

Life Related Pick Up Lines

The Best Life

Next Page