The greatest thing about my job is, the women never taste the arsenic.
You breathe oxygen? Wow, we have so much in common...
Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!
Are you here for a fever? Cause damn you're hot.
I found this pentagram on the floor at the club last night, is it yours? Well, if it's not, I'd like to give it to you anyway.
I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes? Please?!
You're as hot as my temperature.
I think you dropped your teeth.
Wanna come back to my place and see what the inside of my trunk looks like?
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
I wanna eat your shit on bread!
I'd tell you how beautiful you are, but you probably wouldn't get the reference.
Hey girl, are you the influenza virus? Because you make me want stay in bed all day and sweat a lot.
I'm on my fourth hour so let's get this done so you can get me to the emergency room.
Can I push your stool in?
I love what you are wearing. I'd love it even more if you put on a smile on your face.
I like my coffee like I like my women... sealed in an air tight bag in the freezer.
I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.
You're looking a little cold over there. Why don't you come close so I can warm you with my feverish body.
My lipstick would look great on the inside of your thighs.
I know you think im sexy, I know you think im fine, but just like all the other guys get a number and wait in line
I’d ask for your number, but rejection has already memorized mine.
Hey girl, let's forget the world and start a post-rock band.
Seriously baby, I'll take you out as soon as this check clears from my parents.
I loved you before it was cool.
I'll love you longer than the line at Forever 21.
If loving you is a sickness, I don’t want a cure.
Wanna listen to me drone endlessly about art, bicycles, and single-origin sustainable-source fair-trade coffee?
Let me play you a song with my skiffle band. Let me to tune my 1861 Martin guitar.
Does this harmonica make my beard look huge?
Want to start a wolf-, fox- or crystal-related band together?
I need you like 90s television shows need their alternative music tracks.
You would totally make it into Vice's page of Do's.
I like you so much, you make me want to update my Facebook status to In a Relationship.
If I told you you had a beautiful Prius, would you hold it against me?
I'd share my bar of soap with you.
Turn on, tune in, drop your pants.
You must be a sunset, because you’re gorgeous, brief, and guaranteed to make me emotional.
My carbon footprint is the only part of me that's small.
I'm undressing you with my 3rd eye.
Hey baby, I've got you two tickets to the gun show...Let's use them to go and protest gun-related violence!
That's a nice hammock. Does it fit two?
If you join this drum circle you're sure to get a good bang.
You and me together would be totally groovy baby!
Wanna come back to my place to discuss complex interrelated cultural and political trends?
Damn girl, I hope you have an open mind because I have quite the night planned for us.
I just love the way you've styled the hair on your legs. Do the cornrows go all the way up?
Wanna go back to my place for a little "fair trade?"
Let's take off each other's clothes... and then run in the fields together.
If we were trees. We'd be of the same species.
Do yoga with me as the sun is rising?
Hello, perhaps I could have someone else buy you a drink?
What's your number? Err I mean your name?
Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?
Are you that weird mole I found? Becasue I don't stop thinking about you.
My van's parked outside. Let's say you and I just take a ride down to the beach and check out the stars?
Are you my coping mechanism? Because I’m immediately attached and probably using you wrong.
Do you believe in love at first cough… or should I come closer?
I’m not crying; my eyes are just trying to flirt with you dramatically.
Let's get trippy together barefoot.
I can tie cherry stems into dreads with my tongue.
I'm a conscientious subjector.
Wanna go to my parent's basement and make a POC.
My heart is certified cage-free, so my love can roam to you.
I'd be willing to give up meat — but I'd never give up you.
I don't normally go down on girls, but I can't resist the way you play them bongos.
Let's go rainbow searching and fountain swimming so I know it's real.
Does it smell like weed...Or is it just you?
You’re the missing piece of my heart, which explains why everything still feels broken.
Girl, I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!
Baby, you make my heart race faster than a thermometer climbing.
If you was my heifer, I'd done drive you to the meat processing plant.
Girl, you make my palms sweat and my head spin.
Hey babe, do you know that my mouth can generate over 3000 rpm?
I’d compare you to a broken umbrella, but even you would protect me better than my ex did.
You look good in that lumberjack shirt but I would like to see you out of it.
Hey baby, wanna go back to my place? Mamma said you had to be home by 10 anyway.
Well, aren't you hotter than a mama cougar in heat running from my hunting dogs in August?
Wanna find out if my shotgun shell will fit in your double barrel?
God wants us to be together. That's why he gave us the same parents.
My home is where I park it
Girl you must be my cousin because I wanna do you.
You can't handle the tooth!
Hey baby, why do you think they call it a pick-up truck?
Your peroxide blonde hair looks good, but I would like to see if you are a true blonde.
Are both of those teeth real?
Where have you been pretty much all of my life?
Is that a shattered hip, or are you just happy to see me?
Are those your tits in your socks or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a canceled plan? Because I was excited, prepared, and now I’m crying in sweatpants.
I am cooking out so if you want some juicy sausage come on over.
They say fevers burn calories—guess that’s why you’re keeping me in shape.
Wanna ride my Monster truck?
You make my heart skip a beat, then remember it has abandonment issues.
I just got back from fishing. Want to see my rod?
You are prettier than a beer truck pulling up in the driveway.
Hey babeh, are you a film actress? Cus I want you in mah trailer.
