GotLines?

Life Related Pick Up Lines - Part 2





The Best Life

Is your father a lumberjack? I'm great with carpentry and haven't had work in a while.
Hey baby, wanna practice for your second husband?
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.
If I had a nickel for every day I've been wanting to be with a girl like you, I still wouldn't be able to pay off my father's crippling gambling debts that tore apart my family.
Hey baby, Is your name clinical depression? Because you make me want to stay in bed all day trapped beneath your weight.
I just want to be upfront and say that I visually enjoy you.
Are you a corn field, because I'm stalking you.
I'm throwing a house party... and the only person invited is you
I want to make a lampshade out of your skin, because you light up my life.
The last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement!
Are you from Tennessee? Because that's the only state I'm not wanted in.
Is it hot in here or is it just the fire I've lit in your hair?
Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nutstighten up.
With calves like that, you should be a cowgirl.
Well hey there darlin, wanna see my lasso?
Roses are red, your underwear is lace, take them off and sit on my face.
Come into the kitchen and I'll show you how I put the counter in counterculture.
Tomorrow there'll only be 7 planets left cuz tonight...I'm destroying Uranus.
If sad looks could kill, yours would be a weapon of mass destruction.
I've fallen for you so hard, I can't think straight.
Oh my god, do we have the same bra on? Let's look and see!
Hey can I borrow your lipstick and your lips.
Hey girl are you the sun? Because you're brighter than my future.
If I could, I'd get rid of all of the chairs in the world so that you'd have to sit on my face.
I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
Oh, you're straight. So is spaghetti until it gets hot.
The only thing straight about me is my teeth.
You remind me of a Twinkie. Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth.
I lost my number. I'd ask for yours, but I'd probably lose your number too.
As long as I have a face, you have somewhere to sit.

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Is your father a lumberjack? I'm great with carpentry and haven't had work in a while.
Hey baby, wanna practice for your second husband?
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.