I have 8 inches of plastic for you.
So you're straight? So are noodles until they get hot.
Is your name Oliver? Cause in a minute you're gonna be Oliver this dick.
The only thing I’m infected by is attraction to you.
I can't think straight around you.
I'm going to make like Toy Story and get Buzzed so I can play with your Woody.
I'll be your xena if you be my Gabrielle...
Netflix and kill me? Release me from the prison of existence.
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.
I lost my number. I'd ask for yours, but I'd probably lose your number too.
As long as I have a face, you have somewhere to sit.
Hey girl, I put the sensual in non-consensual.
Hey girl come to columbia. We got a whole foods AND an earthfare down the road.
I've had a really bad day but it always makes me feel better when I see a pretty girl smile. Would you smile for me and make my day?
Screw stuffing a turkey this Thanksgiving; just come stuff me!
Like a broken pencil, life without happiness is pointless.
You know, bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on a Saturday night.
You might want to call a bomb squad, because there's going to be an explosion in your anus.
What's the difference between a boner and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini right now.
I think you’re the cure I’ve been searching for.
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