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Dark and Depressing Pickup Lines

Don't let Depression hold you down. We've got pick up lines that are sure to make your soulmate ignore you.





The Best Depression Pickup Lines

Are you a loan? Because you're gaining my interest... Capitalism is ruining my life.
Netflix and kill me? Release me from the prison of existence.
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.
Does my social anxiety and sleep deprivation turn you on?
Wanna give me the d? That means death, please euthanize me.
Hey, wanna come home with me? I guess you'll do for tonight.
Are you clinical depression? Cause you make me wanna kill myself.
Are you depressed, too?
Are you a noose? Cause I'd love to hang out with you some time!
Is your father a lumberjack? I'm great with carpentry and haven't had work in a while.
I want a hot steamy shower! Do you think if I get the water hot enough it will burn my skin off?
Hey baby, wanna practice for your second husband?
Are you depression? Cause I want you to fuck me all day long.
Hey girl are you the sun? Because you're brighter than my future.
Are you depressed yet? Cause you've been stuck in my head all day.
If I had a nickel for every day I've been wanting to be with a girl like you, I still wouldn't be able to pay off my father's crippling gambling debts that tore apart my family.
I lost my number. I'd ask for yours, but I'd probably lose your number too.
Girl, are you Canadian? because I feel sorry for myself.
I'd love to go to Uranus! Because it has a toxic atmosphere and would instantly kill me.
Hey baby, Is your name clinical depression? Because you make me want to stay in bed all day trapped beneath your weight.

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Are you a loan? Because you're gaining my interest... Capitalism is ruining my life.
Netflix and kill me? Release me from the prison of existence.
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.