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Dark and Depressing Pickup Lines

Don't let Depression hold you down. We've got pick up lines that are sure to make your soulmate ignore you.




The Best Depression Pickup Lines

I heard you like bad boys? Well I'm bad, at everything.
Netflix and kill me? Release me from the prison of existence.
Wanna give me the d? That means death, please euthanize me.
Are you a noose? Cause I'd love to hang out with you some time!
Are you a loan? Because you're gaining my interest... Capitalism is ruining my life.
Hey, wanna come home with me? I guess you'll do for tonight.
Is your father a lumberjack? I'm great with carpentry and haven't had work in a while.
Hey baby, wanna practice for your second husband?
You make me want to spend the rest of my meaningless life silently despairing over the thought that you'll find a better man than I and take the kids when you leave.
If I had a nickel for every day I've been wanting to be with a girl like you, I still wouldn't be able to pay off my father's crippling gambling debts that tore apart my family.
You're like a cut on my wrist... people like you hurt me, but I keep getting more.
Hey baby, Is your name clinical depression? Because you make me want to stay in bed all day trapped beneath your weight.
Hey girl are you the sun? Because you're brighter than my future.
I lost my number. I'd ask for yours, but I'd probably lose your number too.
Are you clinical depression? Cause you make me wanna kill myself.
Are you depression? Cause I want you to fuck me all day long.
Girl, are you Canadian? because I feel sorry for myself.
Are you a toaster? Cause I'd be down to take a bath with you.
Are you my anti-depression pills? Because I can't smile without you.
Hay girl, are you crippling depression? Because I'm going to be in bed curled up with you all day!
Wanna smash? Me over the head with this brick.
Are you dopamine? Because I just can't seem to get enough of you.
Does my social anxiety and sleep deprivation turn you on?
I want a hot steamy shower! Do you think if I get the water hot enough it will burn my skin off?
Are you depressed yet? Cause you've been stuck in my head all day.
Are you a psychologist? Cause you cure my depression.
I'd love to go to Uranus! Because it has a toxic atmosphere and would instantly kill me.
I want you to sit on my face. Seriously, if there's a chance I might lose oxygen flow and die... I'll take it.
Girl you're so hot that I would still talk to you even after I'm off the anti-depressant pills I stole from my hospital's pharmacy.
Are you looking for buried treasure? Explore my chest... With a knife.

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I heard you like bad boys? Well I'm bad, at everything.
Netflix and kill me? Release me from the prison of existence.
Wanna give me the d? That means death, please euthanize me.