Vampires won't be the only thing I'm slaying tonight.
Which is easier when you are sad, getting into tight pants or getting out of them?
I made a blood painting for you.
If I were recycled paper, would you be my organic ink?
Nice shoes, wanna drink blood?
I don't need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.
May I stick a banana in your tailpipe?
Christ has risen today, and so have my pants.
I like breakfast in bed, so why don't you just come sit on my face?
Excuse me, could you help me out? I have an incredible itch that's buried deep in my butt.
Are you here for a fever? Cause damn you're hot.
Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?
Why do i need a girlfriend when i can have a boyfriend, keito-kun?
Hey are you a solar system cause I wanna be in Uranus.
One game of penochle and your desitin ass is mine.
Me and u are goin to make love tonite! cause I am stronger than you!
You know what they say about a man with a large belt buckle...
I like the way your self-bleached hair sits on your camouflage jacket.
I'm dead inside, but you make something in my pants alive.
I just saw George Michael in the men's room. He was asking about you.
It's a good thing same-sex marriage is legal here, because I'm already planning our wedding.
You look like the type of medicine I need.
I'm masc, hung, clean, and generous.
Did you know that my dong is an 8.0 on the rectal scale?
Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?
I hope you dont have tetnus cause tonight your gonna nail me
You wanna ride to starbucks? Cause I like a little cream in my coffee.
Id love to invest in a riding lawnmower, to eat my grass.
Do you like that Katy Perry song : I kissed A Girl.
You look too classy for pickup lines, thats why I have roofies.
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