Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
What do you give a train conductor for Christmas? Platform shoes
5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.
I've got a little something for you to gobble on.
I love a good South of the border crossing.
Are you a slippery pool deck? Because I'm falling for you.
I'm an umpire. Now, give me your number so I can make the call.
You're as useless as a knitted condom.
You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.
I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.
You're so ugly, when you popped out the doctor said "Aww what a treasure" and your mom said "Yeah, lets bury it."
Can I curl up in your arms and let the beat of your heart soothe me to sleep? Because that sounds absolutely lovely.
Roses are red, my face is too, that only happens when I'm around you
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Your IQ is roughly around room temperature.
How would you like to switch the gears on my tractor?
If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents.
Are you British? Because you've colonized my heart.
If I were a cat, I'd spend all 9 lives with you
Are you the black line? Because I'm lost without you.
