Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Do I confuse your sexuality yet or should i walk by again?
I'm not gay. I prefer the term vaginavore.
Your ugliness is so profound, it could make a horror movie director run out of ideas.
Are you a toaster? Cause I'd be down to take a bath with you.
If I was a boulder problem, would you flash me?
Hey girl, is your name 400 IM? 'Cause you took my breath away.
That bathing suit would look a lot better on the floor next to my bed.
I would hit that like the side of a tree on Endor.
You may not have any enemies, but your friends don't really like you either.
You're a light eater alright. As soon as it gets light, you starts eating.
I bet you drink milk with a fork.
What does a baby computer call it's father? Data.
Dammnn baby! Your body must be from McDonalds? Cause I'm Loving It!
Hey, I don't mean to grab but, I'm a real ladykiller.
I could spend a millennium in your falcon.
The way you wear that sarong, it should be called a saright.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth.
Are you always an idiot, or just when I'm around?
The waves won't be the only thing you'll be riding today.
If what you don't know can't hurt you, you're invulnerable.
I was looking for treasure and I think I found some.
Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.
You wanna score or just knock around my balls?
Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
If I build a sandcastle will you be my queen?
You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.
Baby, meeting you was better than an NHL lockout ending.
I just want to swab you up and down, then left and right, until we're both afebrile.
Did you cut my phrenic nerve? …Because baby, you take my breath away.
Are you COPD? ‘Cause you take my breath away.
Hey, can I have a lock of your hair? Cause I want to make a clone of you.
Smartphones are the new pacifiers
Can you feel that universal energy flowing from me to you?
Your car's power and movement turns my wheels.
You remind me of my sister. In a romantic way.
Wanna come over to where I have a reasonable expectation of privacy?
Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
I'm going to ask you out. Resistance is futile
If everyone is the general rule, to me you are the only exception.
I'll take you to the promised land.
Is that an M4 or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a boxer? Well you should be, you're one hell of a knock out!
Are you a conditioned stimulus? Because you're making me drool.
You're better than the Summer Olympics, you were worth waiting a whole lifetime for.
You can quit swimming after your dreams, I'm right here.
Will you teach my tongue how to surf?
First rule for a patient is to remove all restricting clothing, can I go ahead and start now?
I'd like to make a commitment to more than just the gym this year.
How about some doubles?
Why did Dracula take cold medicine? - To stop his coffin.
I will treat you how i treat my scriptures.
I must have a nuerodegenerative disease because I've forgotten your number cutie.
Up for a quickie? I can finish with one touch.
The mere sight of your car is an insult to the very concept of automotive design, a middle finger to aesthetics.
Your eyes are worth at least 100 horses.
My heart beats for you like my frappes beat the floor.
Your car's reliability is non-existent, a ticking time bomb of mechanical failures waiting to ruin your day.
Your name must be Milk or Honey... ‘cuz you feel like something I was promised.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I just washed my face. So you have a clean place to sit.
Are you a jalebi? Because there's nothing sweeter than you!
I'm French Horny for your tromboner.
I've seen roadkill that's more visually appealing than your sorry excuse for a face.
Your face could make a haunted house seem like a pleasant vacation spot.
I love the way your Abaya flows when you walk.
Your appearance is so repulsive, it could curdle milk from a hundred yards away.
Nice bible. I would like to pray with you.
Baby, I may have ridden that bronco for 8 seconds, but I'll last a helluva longer on you.
Your face looks like it was designed by Picasso during a drunken stupor.
I'll eat you like a dingo eats a baby.
Your face is so hideous, it could make a blind person weep in agony.
Girl is your face from McDonald's? Cause I'm loving it.
Hey! Cabezona! Come here girl.
If you were a drug, I'd crush you and put you in that girl's drink.
You know girl, the hotter you get, the faster I come!
I'm an interior decorator. I can fill your interior
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Do you have a mirror in your intestines? Because I can see my hands in them.
