Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
The barista may have forgotten your name, but I sure won't.
One more wrinkle and you'd pass for a prune.
You couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel.
You look familiar, didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
Roses are red, I have a crush, whenever I'm around you, all I do is blush
Hey, you should stop eating magnets. You're making me attracted to you
You're not pretty enough to be this stupid.
You look fabulous! ... for your age.
Mami are ju a man, cause you can be the Juan.
Did it hurt when you fell from Cloud City?
I don't want the responsibility of someone else's happiness.
Can I put my gun in your holster?
Looking at you is like staring into the abyss of ugliness, a never-ending nightmare.
We should get matching tatooines.
You must carry the naqsh of Surah Yaseen with you because you're such an honorable man!
You're endor-able!
Well it's not my fault that you stole a pizza my heart.
Are you a tractor? Cause you'd make life on the farm easier.
Are you going to ask me out soon, or do I need to call a delay of game penalty?
Baby are you a personal pizza? Because you were made just for me.
If you're my client, I'll get you off. If you aren't, the offer still stands.
Are you an astronaut? Because I really wanna explore Uranus.
Do you need prayer? Because I'm certainly willing to lay hands on you.
My vibrator is out of batteries, can I borrow you instead?
To a 4 banger - Sounds like all the masters are running.
Why don't you take a powder, preferably arsenic.
What never eats at Christmas dinner? The turkey – it's stuffed
There's a place in my heart spiked just for you.
Can I take your temperature? You're looking hot today.
My coffee isn't hot enough! Could you hold it for a while?
Coffee, tea, or just more of me?
Hey beautiful! Your face is like a moon. Always glowing.
Are you a baritone? Because I would love to get to 3rd bass with you.
Do you have an inhaler? 'Cause you took my breath away.
Baby I can be Spain and you can be Ireland, tonight. In other words, I'm gonna screw you hard!
I may be drunk, but you're ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober.
Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
Is that your face? Or did your neck just throw up?
You're so stupid, it takes you an hour to cook minute rice.
Is your name Ariel? Cause we Mermaid for each other!
Are you an interior decorator? Cause you are making this room beautiful
Do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight.
Smoking is hazardous to your health... and baby, you're killing me!
Excuse me, could you please dial down your hotness, it's causing global warming
I was pro life before I met you.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
Cut off your head
If your brain exploded, it wouldn't even mess up your hair.
I don't usually like being shocked, but when I saw you I was almost knocked off my feet!
Can we still share a netflix account?
Country boys don't need pick-up lines, because they've got pick-up trucks.
Do you like a player who uses the backboard, or takes it straight to the hole?
My name must be John Deere cause I'm totally a Tractored to you.
Are you the deep end? Because I'm ready to dive right in.
I can feel something brewing between the two of us.
Are you Barça or Dortmund? Because even if you lose, you're still a winner in my eyes.
I brought an extra air mattress, would like to lay out in the pool with me?
Are you Ivanovic? Because I'd sure take a bite out of you.
I gave up hotties for Lent. Thank God Easter is here.
The force is strong with this one.
If you were a youtube video, I would watch you intensely at night without anybody knowing.
Boy, I wanna go swimming but I'm already drowning in your eyes.
Why was the JavaScript developer sad? -- Because he didn't Node how to Express himself.
Sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart.
I saved you a seat...on my face.
Can I be one of the men in your box?
Our parents engaged us when we were little... they must have forgotten to tell you.
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
You should spend less time at the gym and more time working on your personality.
Everyone who ever loved you was wrong.
How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? -- She fits into your wife's clothes
Hey, look what the cat dragged in
I usually Han Solo, but I'd let you turn on my light saber!
Baby I'm about to line up in your neutral zone.
This saltwater reminds me of the tears that came to my eyes when I first saw you.
Did you know that you burn 2.8 calories a minute while slow dancing. Wanna work out?
I can't think straight around you.
You're so fat, if you got your shoes shined, you'd have to take their word for it!
Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
Would you like your parrot on this shoulder....or THIS shoulder?
You should be wearing a soccer jersey darling so I don't have to ask for your name or number.
I checked the thermometer, and you're officially one hot bird.
My coffee hasn't kicked in yet, so I can't think of anything charming to say.
You should search for someone with the same values.
Are you Sergio Ramos' penalty kick? Cause you're out of this world.
100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
What's the difference between you and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself.
I'm not a hoarder but I really want to keep you forever.
I need to learn to love myself before I can love you.
The letter 'X' scares me [Why?] Because I never want to be yours.
I know I just met you but I already like you more than candy.
Are your parents siblings?
Dancing without you would be like a broken pencil, pointless.
I can't imagine what qualities you may have that would compensate for your behavior in public.
Blood is red, cyanosis is blue, I get tachycardia when I think of you.
It's too bad stupidity isn't painful.
You Sexy, You Fine. I Really Wanna Make You Mine.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home.
Charzards are red Squitals are blue if u were a Pokemon I would choose you!
Hey would you believe me if I said I was bitten by a crocodile?
