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The Best Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

We make finding funny things to say to your friends quick and easy. Why not start with a pick up line? It's simple really; you'll need one if you want to get to know someone at a party, a club or even the beach. Good first impressions are critical whether you want to know someone for just one night or for a lifetime. Coming up with a good pickup line can be easier than you may think, but in the end-- it all depends on your target's mood and personality. Never underestimate the power of a cheesy or corny pickup line, sometimes a cheesy pickup line can be the best thing to break the ice. If you can catch your target off guard and make them laugh or at least smile, you're off to a good start. The right pick up line can produce unimaginable results; although it's up to you to deliver the magic words you should check out our lists of funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, nerdy pick up lines, dirty pick up lines, worst pick up lines, suggestive pick up lines, flattering pick up lines, and even pick up lines for the beach.

Pick Up Lines

Top 5 Rated Pick Up Lines
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
Are you Google? Because I've just found what I've been searching for.
If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.
Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u.

Newest Pick Up Lines
I wasn't sure of my vocation until you walked into the room.
Are you on interlibrary loan? ‘Cause baby, you are outta this library!
On a scale from 1 to 10, you're hotter than the number of nights of Hanukkah.
Who’s ya hair dresser? Tell her I apologize for messing up her work!
Baby, you must be a broom because I'm going to snap your head off and clean the floor with it.

Jokes

Top Rated Jokes
This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder
Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'.
The fact that there is a highway to hell and a stairway to heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic load.
The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.
Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job.

Newest Jokes
I can't find my rutabaga. I hope it will turnip.
Getting this job managing a country estate has put me off fried eggs. I'm a gamekeeper turned poacher.
The Hong Kong businessman left a huge estate when he died. It was the great will of China.
The new drive-thru restaurant for golfers insisted on putting greens in all their courses.
If you make candles you are going to need a lot of paraffin-alia.

Insults

Top Rated Insults
I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?
Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Newest Insults
Your mother hasn't smiled since the car accident. By that I mean the moment you were conceived in the back seat.
To a 4 banger - Sounds like all the masters are running.
I'm not gonna sugar coat this for you, because if I did, you'd eat it. You're fat.
The only thing I will ever give you credit for is that you somehow managed to dodge that fucking coat hanger for the first 9 months of that sorry excuse that you call a life!
You look so stupid, you can make a horse’s face short.



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