Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you in the Air Force? Cause your hotter than the engine of an F-22A Raptor.
You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You were dragged through dumbass forest.
You like Star Wars? Let's go back to my place and violate the Jedi Code.
I hope you're good at catching cause I'm starting to fall for you.
Wi-Fi went down during family dinner tonight. One of the kids started talking and I didn't know who he was.
You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back!
Girl, are you fries? Because I would like you at my side.
If I was an octopus, all my 3 hearts would beat for you.
Are you seaworthy? Because I'm going to ride you till dawn.
It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the 'impression' that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
You're so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about.
You only annoy me when you're breathing.
Why dont you shut up and give that hole in your face a chance to heal.
You're so fat, you have to use a mattress as a maxi-pad.
Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
You should eat some of your make up so you can be pretty on the inside.
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Are you in some kind of fitness protection program?
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother.
I love you beyond a reasonable doubt.
Wanna be my caddy? You look like you'd be a great ball-handler.
Why don't we head over to my pick-up truck and turnip the beet?
The only thing brighter than your spikes is your smile.
Wow, you're gorgeous! Your head would look great in my freezer!
Your teeth are so white! They're gonna make a great necklace.
You've got more curves than a cross country track.
How do pinnipeds communicate? With seal phones.
The race car driver had a checkered past.
You're not allergic to duct tape are you?
That shirt looks great on you, but it would look even better in an evidence bag.
If there's anything I know how to do the right way... it's lay pipe. I'm happy to prove it!
Are you sustainable agriculture? Cuz you're all I need to survive.
Is that corn in your silo, or did you have to plant barley this year too?
Wanna come over to myspace so I could twitter your yahoo till you google all over my facebook.
I hope you don't object to this leading question but, you want me don't you?
You can tell a lot about a man by the size of his yield.
I want to slam dunk your face with my face.
Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cause you're hot and I'm ready.
I've got a knife and a penis and one of them is going inside you.
Error 404: Your number in my phone not found!
Wanna check what's inside this brief?
A monster who likes to ring doorbells is a knock less monster.
You don't need car keys to drive me crazy. But I need them to run you over.
Let's strengthen our hips together!
I might study something at a university that someone once told me about - there is a degree of ambiguity there.
Are you a thief? Because you've stolen my heart. Now get in the trunk.
Zookeepers spot clean their leopards.
Are you a cartographer? Because you have mileage markers in all the right places.
What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? They get their masters.
When the shoe store owner discovered that someone had broken into his store, the police pumped him for information.
Are you Barça? Cause you always have possession of my heart.
What happens if I blow on your antenna?
A clumsy physician who pretends to care is a hypocritical oaf.
I'm Wesley crushing on you
Lower your shields and let me into your heart.
Ever do it on a portoledge?
Girl. Let me be your imam.
That hijab really compliments your eyes.
According to the Similarity Attraction Effect, I must be attractive because you're beautiful.
Baby are you tired because you've been running through my reticular formation all day.
Girl you put me in an altered state of consciousness.
Girl I've got some allostatic load for you right here.
The astronomer quit his job to become a barber. Eclipse hair now.
Don't mind me observing you, I'm just doing some case study.
Nice ass... what time does it open?
Hey babe are you a swimmer? Cause you've been swimming through my mind all day.
You remind me of a Twinkie. Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth.
I'll be your xena if you be my Gabrielle...
Is your name Heskey? Because I would love to take you out for Emile.
I can help you. I have fingers.
All births are an Emergency.
I have familiarized myself with all 5 love languages, in fact, I invented 4 of them.
I am a hot lesbian, hold my hand.
I am no Will Wheaton, but I've got a Crusher on you.
You make me go from simple squamous to stratified columnar
You have the cutest smile when you sleep.
I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U...
Do you like water? Then you would like 70% of me.
I only thought about you once today. I just never stopped.
Bird-dogs are great for music, because they're both woofers and tweeters.
Is that an oxygen cylinder? We have so much in common.
I'm gonna pound you like I do these range balls.
Why don't you listen to your heart and go out with me? (holding stethoscope)
Are you Crisitano? Because you've definitely won my Ballon d'Ors.
You look like someone who likes to swing.
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
Are you a word thief? Becasue I've run out of things to say...
Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
Kobe Bryant is a terrible fisherman because he always gets nothing but net.
I have 8 inches of plastic for you.
I'd swim across the ocean just to see you smile.
You can count on star but you can't ever count on how much I miss you.
Are you depression? Cause I want you to fuck me all day long.
The only thing tender today is my heart for you.
If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?
Are you dopamine? Because I just can't seem to get enough of you.
My caddy says I should use a hard 7. You okay with that?
