Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.

The Best Insults

You're as useless as a knitted condom.
Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
I'd slap you, but shit stains.
Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma.
You're so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar.
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
How many times do I have to flush to get rid of you?
You're as bright as a black hole, and twice as dense.
I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement!
It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer.
Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it.
You're not funny, but your life, now that's a joke.
I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.
If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!
You're so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit
The last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana.
If it's meant to be it's meant to be, but just to be clear, it isn't.
Excuse me, but do you like whales? Because I was thinking that we could "humpback" at my place.
Why don't you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

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