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" Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. "


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Comebacks:

1. shut up your the reason why those condoms were invented in the first place 2. at least I can wear one
By: Ryan McClain on 20 May 2013
 
122
 
41 81
You don't even have a certificate because your "parents" don't even want the government to know you exist.
By: Noneofurbusiness439 on 02 Oct 2014
 
81
 
21 60
Your death certificate is a reward letter from the funeral director.
By: Ills on 15 Apr 2013
 
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13 53
and your birth certificate is a accident report.
By: Dan on 15 Sep 2015
 
39
 
11 28
At least when my mom gave birth to me she didn't call God and ask for a refund...
By: Jessica on 12 Sep 2016
 
29
 
4 25
at least when i wasn't born with the doctor saying"Aww, what a treasure!", which led to your mom saying"Yeah, let's bury it."
By: anonymouse on 06 Nov 2015
 
35
 
12 23
You're the cause of the creation of condoms.
By: AnusAss on 12 Apr 2015
 
26
 
8 18
Your so fat last Christmas I took a picture of you and it is still printing
By: sibuna4180 on 24 May 2013
 
52
 
35 17
I'm sorry, you must have been devastated when your mommy said that to you.
By: My Dixie wrecked on 03 Jun 2015
 
21
 
6 15
your birth certificate is a apology letter from god..
By: gabriel on 26 Mar 2012
 
40
 
27 13
The closest thing you could get to pussy/dick is a disabled donkey
By: mac on 02 Sep 2016
 
15
 
3 12
the way you turned out, i think your talking to the wrong person.. try a mirror
By: Ant on 28 Mar 2012
 
23
 
12 11
At least mine wasn't from the abortion factory
By: Intellectual handiwork on 12 Nov 2016
 
13
 
3 10
If brains were gold you would be very poor.
By: sibuna4180 on 24 May 2013
 
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19 10
Your face is a disgrace to humanity.
By: Some dude on 31 Oct 2012
 
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38 9
And YOUR birth certificate is a crime scene report.
By: ... on 22 Dec 2015
 
15
 
7 8
Don't talk to me, my IQ might drain.
By: dssafsdaf on 01 Feb 2016
 
15
 
8 7
at least i came out the right end
By: Andy on 06 Apr 2017
 
9
 
2 7
i would would smack the mess out yo face but that would be animal abuse
By: thegreatlynch on 28 Apr 2015
 
15
 
8 7
Guess the devil was too tired of seeing you in hell he asked God to send you back here.
By: Ethan on 20 Jun 2017
 
8
 
2 6
At least mine wasn't from the abortion factory
By: Intellectual handiwork on 03 Aug 2016
 
11
 
5 6
Shut up your mum got arrested for giving birth to you because it was a violation to the country
By: Johnny g on 07 Feb 2017
 
8
 
3 5
Yours was a warning from the abortion clinic.
By: Lee L. on 27 Feb 2016
 
10
 
5 5
Hey, now we have something in comon
By: Connor on 25 Nov 2014
 
18
 
14 4
At least my birth certificate is valid
By: mac on 06 Sep 2016
 
7
 
4 3
Yours was a warning from the abortion clinic.
By: Lee L. on 27 Feb 2016
 
7
 
4 3
How many times do I have to flush for you to go away!
By: ponypower on 09 Oct 2013
 
20
 
17 3
Your mum is so ugly even the RSPCA wouldn't rescue that ....
By: charlotte. :D on 27 Oct 2013
 
18
 
15 3
I think you should go back to where you came from like the pet shelter. -AH-
By: Alex Huddson on 07 Dec 2014
 
18
 
15 3
Yo mama so fat, the only letters of the alphabet she knows is K F C. Kentucky Fried Chicken
By: Savage as fuck on 07 Nov 2017
 
5
 
2 3
yo mama so fat she uses the Great Wall of China as a belt
By: Savage as fuck on 07 Nov 2017
 
5
 
2 3
And your's is proctologist advertisement leaflet.
By: Felix on 04 Dec 2013
 
22
 
20 2
Should I except who you are,or should I lie to myself and pretend to like you?
By: ponypower on 09 Oct 2013
 
20
 
18 2
I can't think of a non-saluting way to describe you
By: Esho on 20 Jan 2015
 
10
 
8 2
yo mama so fat she went to Japan and Godzilla said " DAMN" and ran away
By: Savage as fuck on 07 Nov 2017
 
3
 
1 2
Get a life...And do something with it..
By: sibuna4180 on 24 May 2013
 
17
 
16 1
How'd you know are you transgender (Comeback for girls)
By: Intellectual handiwork on 20 Mar 2016
 
7
 
6 1
Ooh! Wonderful! Then ours match! Giddy! Although, I hate having a birth similar certificate with someone as rude as you.
By: YouObviouslyLoveOreos on 10 Nov 2014
 
22
 
22
Yeah and your dad owns that factory!
By: Darby on 20 May 2019
 
1
 
1
I f**ked your Mom in the same Condom Factory.
By: Awesome on 18 Nov 2014
 
18
 
18
Your so fat the only letter of the alphabet you know are KFC
By: Lily on 14 Oct 2019
 
 
Your so broke you followed a garbage truck with your shopping list
By: Lily on 14 Oct 2019
 
 
Your so ugly even your own reflection looked away from you
By: Lily on 14 Oct 2019
 
 
I would insult you but I wouldn't do as good as nature did
By: Lily on 14 Oct 2019
 
 
When you jump you make an earth quake when you swim you make a tsunami and when you die you make happiness
By: Lily on 14 Oct 2019
 
 
I was a happy accident, you get happy when you have an accident. Change your diapers and get on my level.
By: PestoPeople on 30 Jul 2018
 
2
 
2
Well, if you're going to be a dick, at least wear like one.
By: UnNamed on 30 May 2015
 
10
 
11 -1
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory (it basically means the condom factory said sorry your dads condom didn't work and so you were born so it's a mistake)
By: Lily on 14 Oct 2019
 
 
1 -1
By: Stupidity at its smartest on 04 Sep 2014
 
9
 
11 -2
If my birth certificate was an apology note from the condom factory then why did you name trace yours and hide mine? exactly.
By: suckdik on 24 Sep 2014
 
11
 
13 -2
you are talking about yours right
By: Reuben on 14 Mar 2015
 
7
 
10 -3
Yeah? Psshhh, if you're going to bea smartarse then you have to be smart first. Otherwise you're just an arse.
By: DemonComebackMaster on 22 Apr 2015
 
11
 
15 -4
At least my parents didn't give me up, not like you. YOU WERE ADOPTED
By: BitchAssWhore on 14 Sep 2014
 
13
 
17 -4
yo mama like a library open to the public..... roast session
By: thegreatlynch on 28 Apr 2015
 
8
 
12 -4
You are the reason your parents killed themselves and put you up for adoption for new parents that you THINK these parents that adopted you were your real parents
By: Oof on 09 Oct 2017
 
1
 
6 -5
I received your Birth Certificate from the same Condom Factory when i F**ked your Mom.
By: Awesome on 18 Nov 2014
 
16
 
21 -5
At least I was born in a SAFE environment ha get it? SAFE environment
By: Intellectual handiwork on 23 Jan 2016
 
4
 
9 -5
That reminds me - I was thinking of you yesterday... for a second, just before I flushed down the toilet.
By: Felix on 04 Dec 2013
 
10
 
16 -6
there is no come back from chuck norris and is he wanted any come back he would ask your mom for it.
By: marshall on 15 May 2013
 
12
 
19 -7
Why wouldn't you try to look at your own face?!
By: Dissing_bitches on 24 May 2015
 
3
 
11 -8
At least I was born to beat your ass.
By: Bitch pleasE!!! on 21 Jan 2015
 
5
 
13 -8
If you can't say anything nice, just tape your mouth shut
By: love4all on 02 Feb 2013
 
15
 
23 -8
your a fat bum
By: jeff on 06 Sep 2016
 
3
 
12 -9
How would you know?
By: iiii writeeeee theeeee wayyyyy peopleeeeee speakkkkkkk on 09 Jan 2015
 
8
 
18 -10
You sent a complaint to the condom factory because you were upset with your birth certificate, they told you that to find the truth, you must search for the condom in the sewers. Then they hired plumbers and trapped you down there. They forgot to give you your life insurance; you created a death certificate out of leftover shit and thanked Disney land.
By: 7 on 07 Jul 2014
 
14
 
25 -11
how u expect to learn dance steps wen all u can rap about is about a girl u can neva get
By: sonam tsekyi on 11 May 2014
 
7
 
18 -11
idiot
By: we on 06 Nov 2014
 
8
 
22 -14
shut up you know your all ugly and im beautiful oh i will make sure to make a joke ready, roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in the zoo wait if god made me beatiful what happened to you?!? oh right i forgot god laughed when you were born HAHAHAHAHAHA no one knows who i am.
By: sasdfv on 01 Dec 2012
 
9
 
28 -19
Yo momma so fat she went to da beach and all da dolphins sais we r family
By: Awesome guy on 29 Sep 2013
 
6
 
28 -22
Your dogz shit look familar ooooh yea try a mirror
By: Da Don on 13 May 2013
 
5
 
30 -25

Variations & Alternatives:

ok I have an insult vvvvv I'd love 2 insult u but im afaid I wont do a good as a job as nature did
By: i have a very long name so if you are so stupid to read all this then ur IQ is as big as ur brain on 12 Mar 2015
 
6
 
2 4
I just douched a wad of silly putty out of my humongous poop chute and it was the spitting image of you
By: ASHER on 17 Jul 2016
 
4
 
1 3
The only pussy you'll ever get is from your pet cat.
By: pls end my life on 12 May 2017
 
1
 
1
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the Islamic State
By: mac on 03 Sep 2016
 
1
 
1
You're so ugly that when your mum dropped you of to school, she got a fine for littering. If my mum got a fine for littering than your mum must have been sent to jail for bringing violation to the country.
By: YOLOHAMASWAG on 27 May 2019
 
 
And your birth certificate is a crime scene report.
By: ... on 22 Dec 2015
 
4
 
4
The only pussy you'll ever get is from your pet cat.
By: pls end my life on 13 May 2017
 
1
 
2 -1
Haha haven't heard that before mind if I use it
By: Josh on 28 Sep 2013
 
4
 
12 -8

Comments:

Puberty was not nice to you
By: Person on 24 Feb 2015
 
9
 
1 8
Your so poor that you run to the garbage truck with a shopping list.
By: Diversity NIGGASZ on 31 Oct 2014
 
10
 
5 5
bitches
By: yolo on 02 Jul 2012
 
7
 
4 3
Cheesy shit
By: og on 06 Jul 2013
 
6
 
3 3
Your mommas so fat the only thing stopping her from 'weight watchers' is the door ;o
By: dan on 05 Sep 2014
 
6
 
4 2
These insults are so good I should say these to the boys in school and see what they say cuz they r soo annoying
By: sibuna4180 on 24 May 2013
 
6
 
5 1
Bitch.. im only saying shes a **** because her beds never been laid in
By: michaela on 07 Jun 2012
 
4
 
3 1
Your ass must be pretty jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth
By: NO ONE CARES on 22 Dec 2023
 
 
Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon
By: NO ONE CARES on 22 Dec 2023
 
 
I'd like to help, which way did u come in.
By: NO ONE CARES on 22 Dec 2023
 
 
i love your face
By: sasdfv on 22 May 2012
 
9
 
9
bitchezzzz #mickeyminage
By: you dont need to know69 on 04 Feb 2015
 
1
 
2 -1
Yet I wasn't born and have no life, I see
By: LizyHasNoLife 342 on 19 Mar 2017
 
 
1 -1
well yours prob has thousands of times
By: yolo on 02 Jul 2012
 
1
 
2 -1
that was so funny
By: neilskie on 18 Apr 2012
 
2
 
3 -1
Jeez, that comeback pissed my friend off, he was like:........Sut up!!!
By: maxduhfrog on 13 Nov 2014
 
2
 
3 -1
your birth certificate was a 2m Fin.
By: josh on 24 Apr 2016
 
1
 
2 -1
You're about as useful as a condom machine in the Vatican
By: Jareth's Girl on 31 Jan 2019
 
 
1 -1
yo mama like a library, she open to the public
By: thegreatlynch on 28 Apr 2015
 
1
 
2 -1
Shut up, the condom factory closed BEFORE I WAS FRICKIN' BORN!!!
By: finlay on 22 Aug 2015
 
1
 
2 -1
what r' lines
By: sexy on 15 Feb 2013
 
2
 
3 -1
Your mum regreted you being born from the beginning
By: AaDZPadZy on 27 Nov 2013
 
3
 
4 -1
Please, ebay have lives...
By: ji on 15 Apr 2017
 
 
1 -1
hilarious
By: lorance on 28 Jan 2013
 
2
 
4 -2
Yo mama so ugly her birth certificate was an apology from the condom factory
By: shaneequa black on 05 Jun 2012
 
2
 
4 -2
your so stupid that you starved in a grocery store
By: sid on 17 Mar 2013
 
2
 
5 -3
Your so Dumb you threw a ball at the ground and missed!?
By: BlueDragon on 21 Mar 2013
 
1
 
4 -3
If my certificate was an apology from the condom factory SNAP our birth certificates match
By: TRY_DISSING_ME### on 22 Jun 2013
 
3
 
6 -3
ur stoopid
By: Klaus on 20 Jul 2016
 
 
3 -3
So using this tomorrow
By: totalblast on 02 May 2013
 
1
 
4 -3
bitches
By: yolo on 02 Jul 2012
 
2
 
6 -4
You were an accident, the condom broke!
By: Alana on 24 Feb 2015
 
 
4 -4
i want a bout ass for 600 like shit
By: sasfav on 26 Apr 2014
 
1
 
5 -4
Sasdvf is a bitch
By: me on 29 Sep 2013
 
 
5 -5
follow me on instagram
By: nicckk.c on 12 Jan 2016
 
 
5 -5
I like this... c: Nice.
By: Lexi on 16 Jan 2015
 
 
5 -5
hilarious and peek out blood
By: bioenmister on 15 Jul 2013
 
 
5 -5
awesome gotta use that at school lol
By: anime1 on 07 Feb 2013
 
2
 
9 -7
Yo mama so ugly her birth certificate was an apology from the condom factory
By: shaneequa black on 05 Jun 2012
 
3
 
11 -8
Message me on kik fur n00dz Lmaooooooooooooooooo
By: Kael sch0ffr on 06 Oct 2014
 
2
 
12 -10

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.