Pick-Up Lines

           
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Funny Pick Up Lines

Pickup lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway.


Pickup LineRatingVotes
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 531
A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck. 346
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. 232
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. 102
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast 680
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper! 391
Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply! 163
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. 285
My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down? 42
Lets play carpenter. First we get hammered, then I'll nail you! 46
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? 334
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 216
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! 45
I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock! 237
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 73
I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream. 155
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 106
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one? 259
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die" 346
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 97
Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong! 175
You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you. 90
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? 85
That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too! 74
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? 97
Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that! 63
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 41
If I followed you home, would you keep me? 37
Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty. 37
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear. 52
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet. 93
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight! 35
Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar! 39
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. 33
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you. 54
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 52
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 33
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in! 48
You turn my software into hardware! 56
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is... 26
Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth! 69
You know what would look good on you? Me! 31
Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven? 30
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns. 34
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious! 38
I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus! 27
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street. 39
Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I? 26
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin! 24
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me. 49
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you! 45
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea! 21
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart? 24
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 39
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot! 23
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden. 33
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 35
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! 29
My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed. 32
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? 23
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together. 43
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight? 72
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 56
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway. 52
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous. 59
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you? 34
Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers. 32
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you! 22
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous. 68
Your body is like an hourglass, and I just wanna play in the sand. 3
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me. 23
If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town. 27
If you were a booger I would pick you first. 49
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me? 46
Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed? 15
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. 23
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants! 67
Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK 28
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. 50
Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be? 29
Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed? 37
I'm like a faucet. The more you turn me on,the wetter I get. 4
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel! 20
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 37
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! 24
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me? 39
Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long. 42
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!! 38
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice. 21
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink. 33
I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9? 51
Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed? 17
I'm gay, think you can convert me? 36
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! 30
Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you! 36
You're ugly, but you intrigue me... 35
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven? 27
Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven! 28
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name? 25
You don't sweat much for a fat chick. 54
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning. 18
Bond....James Bond 78
Can you lick your nipples?
[No] Can I?
[Yes] Can you show me?
60
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away. 21
Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you. 26
Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me. 36
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready. 44
Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim. 28
Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away. 28
I must be lost… because I see paradise. 2
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter. 40
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT! 20
A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want." 41
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off. 17
Is your name mickey? because your so FINE! 75
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me. 33
Excuse me, did you just fart? 115
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all! 32


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