Pick-Up Lines


Funny Pick Up Lines

Pick Up Lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway.

Pick Up LinesRatingVotes
I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it. 255
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? 143
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. 2159
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 715
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 377
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you. 245
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back. 41
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 209
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. 509
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! 230
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together. 26
You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list. 51
You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line. 228
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 406
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 199
Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u. 36
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious! 187
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight! 170
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 216
If beauty were time, you’d be eternity. 59
If you were a library book, I would check you out. 9
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea! 84
You are so sweet you could put Hershey’s out of business. 80
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet. 205
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart? 94
I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice Ass! 45
You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts. 17
It’s a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you’d be too hot to handle. 31
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in! 415
You smell like trash, may I take you out? 37
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fake and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die" 746
I have a boyfriend. [Guy] I have a pet goldfish. [Girl] What? [Guy] I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter. 182
I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman! 28
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous. 269
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 51
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! 131
Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you? 58
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable. 13
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is... 85
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me. 137
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns. 133
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together. 113
I can't think of anyone else I'd rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with. 57
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 184
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear. 88
My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart. 13
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin! 63
I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you. 31
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me. 17
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope. 12
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family. 12
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. 47
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. 170
My name is [your here] but you can call me tonight! 13
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you? 39
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you! 86
If you were a booger I would pick you first. 132
I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that. 11
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world? 11
You know what material this is? [Grab your shirt] Boyfriend material. 16
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. 54
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! 72
How much does a polar beat weight? Enough to break the ice! 31
Do you have the time? No, the time to write down my number? 5
If I followed you home, would you keep me? 73
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot! 52
You're so hot you must've started global warming. 11
I just got this naughty list from Santa and I'm pretty sure you're on it. 6
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! 56
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight? 126
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me? 99
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous. 111
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!! 92
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you? 82
I must be lost… because I see paradise. 28
Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up! 76
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too! 64
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 70
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib! 4
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet. 5
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket? 8
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you! 61
Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me. 78
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you. 60
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me. 53
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 100
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants! 233
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel! 51
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away. 42
Bond....James Bond 193
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me? 66
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 81
Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle! 10
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning. 30
Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away. 63
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready. 75
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name? 42
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice. 34
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven? 57
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue. 9
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery. I would choose the lottery. But it would be sooooo close, real close. 12
Looks like you dropped something , My jaw! 16
You're so sweet, you're giving me a toothache. 8
If you were a steak you would be well done. 7
You don't sweat much for a fat chick. 130
Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken! 5
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT! 36
You're like a fat stump, I'm always falling over you. 8
You're ugly, but you intrigue me... 64
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off. 28
Is your name mickey? because your so FINE! 124
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? 7
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all! 79
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me. 61
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter. 55
Excuse me, did you just fart? 233
Do you mind if I hang out here until it's safe back where I farted? 42
Is stalking still cute? 7
Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly. 184
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home. 13
You MUST have a nice personality. 10
Is it bright out here, or is that just your halo? 2
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