Pickup Lines and Ice Breakers

           
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Funny Pick Up Lines

Pickup lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway.


Pickup LineRatingVotes
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast 285
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one? 164
A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck. 109
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 25
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 59
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. 72
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 46
I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock! 68
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 103
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die" 77
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 55
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? 40
Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that! 44
That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too! 35
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear. 29
Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong! 80
You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you. 42
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? 39
If I followed you home, would you keep me? 21
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet. 45
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 41
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. 31
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns. 12
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 15
You know what would look good on you? Me! 8
Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I? 14
Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply! 50
Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven? 12
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! 18
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden. 15
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? 196
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 21
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you. 18
Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty. 15
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 12
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin! 8
If you were a booger I would pick you first. 26
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. 16
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous. 40
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants! 29
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 15
You turn my software into hardware! 28
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight! 13
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 15
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious! 20
Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar! 15
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! 14
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea! 7
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight? 40
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me? 22
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel! 10
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together. 28
Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth! 28
You're ugly, but you intrigue me... 24
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you? 11
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart? 11
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street. 18
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. 28
Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers. 18
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway. 22
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me. 17
Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed? 9
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off. 12
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you! 9
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning. 9
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is... 15
My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed. 16
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. 8
I'm gay, think you can convert me? 24
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! 20
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous. 30
You don't sweat much for a fat chick. 18
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven? 16
Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be? 13
If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town. 17
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away. 13
Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long. 24
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink. 12
Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed? 20
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!! 23
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! 13
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 22
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot! 11
Bond....James Bond 35
I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9? 26
Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK 13
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice. 6
Can you lick your nipples?
[No] Can I?
[Yes] Can you show me?
26
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? 9
Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you. 15
Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you! 21
Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim. 17
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me? 19
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter. 24
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name? 12
Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven! 16
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me. 16
Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed? 9
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all! 19
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready. 27
I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream. 48
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT! 14
Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me. 22
A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want." 17
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you! 26
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper! 172
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. 75
Is your name mickey? because your so FINE! 39



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