Pick-Up Lines

           
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Funny Pick Up Lines

Pickup lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway.


Pickup LineRatingVotes
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 392
A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck. 296
I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream. 137
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast 599
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. 191
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper! 342
I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock! 209
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. 236
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 190
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. 63
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 30
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? 301
Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply! 117
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 65
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one? 240
My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down? 32
You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you. 81
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 87
Lets play carpenter. First we get hammered, then I'll nail you! 30
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die" 258
Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong! 152
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 85
Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that! 58
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! 32
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? 68
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? 81
That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too! 60
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet. 84
Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty. 31
Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar! 35
If I followed you home, would you keep me? 29
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns. 29
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear. 42
Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth! 61
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight! 27
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you. 43
I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus! 22
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. 30
You know what would look good on you? Me! 24
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 45
You turn my software into hardware! 52
Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I? 23
Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven? 25
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you! 41
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 28
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in! 42
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious! 30
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is... 22
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me. 40
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 33
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin! 21
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street. 30
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart? 20
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea! 18
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway. 45
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! 26
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? 20
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 27
Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers. 27
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 50
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together. 38
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden. 28
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous. 50
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me? 35
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants! 58
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight? 65
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you? 26
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous. 61
If you were a booger I would pick you first. 43
Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK 25
Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed? 33
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel! 15
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. 19
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me. 21
If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town. 24
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you! 18
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!! 34
Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be? 27
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. 44
Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed? 15
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! 21
My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed. 24
Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed? 13
Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you! 32
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot! 16
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 32
Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long. 38
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice. 18
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven? 22
I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9? 47
I'm gay, think you can convert me? 34
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! 28
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me? 33
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name? 21
You're ugly, but you intrigue me... 29
You don't sweat much for a fat chick. 46
Bond....James Bond 72
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning. 17
Can you lick your nipples?
[No] Can I?
[Yes] Can you show me?
50
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink. 27
Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim. 26
Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you. 24
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away. 18
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off. 14
Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven! 21
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT! 19
Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me. 33
Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away. 23
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready. 38
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter. 35
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all! 27
A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want." 31
Is your name mickey? because your so FINE! 68
Excuse me, did you just fart? 69
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me. 26


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