Funny Pick Up Lines

Funny Pick Up Lines

Pick Up Lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway.

Pick Up LinesRating
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
 
2705
 
382
2323
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
 
1067
 
249
818
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fake and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"
 
1052
 
269
783
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
 
635
 
175
460
I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.
 
620
 
171
449
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.
 
751
 
210
541
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
 
633
 
178
455
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
 
466
 
134
332
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.
 
377
 
115
262
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!
 
591
 
182
409
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
 
360
 
112
248
You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.
 
415
 
131
284
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
 
375
 
120
255
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
 
307
 
99
208
Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u.
 
165
 
54
111
I have a boyfriend. [Guy] I have a pet goldfish. [Girl] What? [Guy] I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter.
 
296
 
99
197
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
 
177
 
59
118
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous.
 
389
 
132
257
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
 
139
 
48
91
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.
 
322
 
113
209
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
 
314
 
111
203
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
 
263
 
93
170
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.
 
240
 
86
154
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
 
226
 
81
145
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
 
303
 
109
194
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!
 
192
 
69
123
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
 
287
 
104
183
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.
 
157
 
57
100
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?
 
182
 
69
113
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
 
237
 
91
146
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!
 
201
 
78
123
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
 
137
 
54
83
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?
 
179
 
72
107
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?
 
143
 
58
85
You are so sweet you could put Hershey's out of business.
 
150
 
61
89
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!
 
130
 
53
77
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.
 
199
 
82
117
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!
 
243
 
102
141
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!
 
116
 
49
67
I can't think of anyone else I'd rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with.
 
132
 
56
76
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!
 
99
 
42
57
You know what material this is? [Grab your shirt] Boyfriend material.
 
78
 
33
45
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!
 
107
 
46
61
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.
 
158
 
69
89
I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!
 
155
 
68
87
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
 
133
 
60
73
If you were a booger I would pick you first.
 
170
 
77
93
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!
 
97
 
45
52
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!
 
92
 
43
49
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!
 
83
 
39
44
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
 
49
 
23
26
Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
 
59
 
28
31
I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice Ass!
 
92
 
44
48
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
 
109
 
53
56
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
 
94
 
46
48
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
 
112
 
55
57
You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list.
 
112
 
55
57
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...
 
128
 
64
64
Bond....James Bond
 
187
 
94
93
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
 
92
 
46
46
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!
 
119
 
60
59
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
 
103
 
52
51
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.
 
136
 
69
67
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
 
104
 
53
51
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
 
95
 
49
46
How much does a polar beat weight? Enough to break the ice!
 
62
 
32
30
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
 
71
 
37
34
My name is [your here] but you can call me tonight!
 
44
 
23
21
You smell like trash, may I take you out?
 
85
 
45
40
Hi, I'm Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.
 
101
 
54
47
It's a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you'd be too hot to handle.
 
75
 
40
35
You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
 
49
 
26
23
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?
 
86
 
46
40
Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
 
116
 
63
53
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.
 
86
 
47
39
Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.
 
82
 
45
37
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
 
38
 
21
17
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
 
46
 
26
20
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
 
62
 
36
26
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
 
50
 
29
21
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.
 
65
 
38
27
Looks like you dropped something , My jaw!
 
51
 
30
21
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
 
87
 
52
35
Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!
 
115
 
69
46
Is that a shovel in your back pocket? Cuz I'm diggin dat ass!
 
42
 
25
17
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
 
37
 
22
15
You're so hot you must've started global warming.
 
44
 
27
17
Hey, are you my appendix? Because I don't understand what you do, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out?
 
60
 
37
23
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
 
37
 
23
14
I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that.
 
33
 
21
12
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
 
62
 
40
22
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice.
 
46
 
30
16
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?
 
52
 
34
18
Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!
 
114
 
75
39
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
 
40
 
27
13
You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
 
122
 
84
38
My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.
 
35
 
24
11
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
 
86
 
60
26
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter.
 
56
 
39
17
Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle!
 
31
 
22
9
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery. I would choose the lottery. But it would be sooooo close, real close.
 
35
 
25
10
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!
 
50
 
36
14
Damn girl, if you were a fruit, you'd be a FINEapple!
 
36
 
26
10
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all!
 
73
 
53
20
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me.
 
59
 
43
16
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?
 
64
 
47
17
I can't take my eyes off of you. Unless, of course, you notice me. Then I'll quickly look away And act like nothing happened.
 
26
 
19
7
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.
 
42
 
31
11
Want to dance? Or should I go to hell again?
 
22
 
17
5
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib!
 
22
 
17
5
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope.
 
31
 
25
6
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
 
28
 
23
5
You're like a fat stump, I'm always falling over you.
 
31
 
26
5
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
 
39
 
33
6
What's your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon!
 
19
 
16
3
You're ugly, but you intrigue me...
 
56
 
48
8
Excuse me, did you just fart?
 
163
 
140
23
Is stalking still cute?
 
32
 
28
4
Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.
 
137
 
124
13
Is it bright out here, or is that just your halo?
 
21
 
19
2
Do you have the time? No, the time to write down my number?
 
24
 
22
2
You're so sweet, you're giving me a toothache.
 
25
 
23
2
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
 
26
 
24
2
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you've got a pretty sweet ass.
 
27
 
27
If you were a steak you would be well done.
 
28
 
28
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off.
 
31
 
32
-1
You have a good web-surfing stance.
 
27
 
28
-1
Do you mind if I hang out here until it's safe back where I farted?
 
44
 
47
-3
Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
 
26
 
31
-5
I just got this naughty list from Santa and I'm pretty sure you're on it.
 
23
 
28
-5
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
 
24
 
30
-6
I bet even your farts smell good.
 
31
 
39
-8
My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.
 
19
 
24
-5
You MUST have a nice personality.
 
34
 
48
-14



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