Pick-Up Lines

           
AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Funny Pick Up Lines

Pickup lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway.


Pickup LineRatingVotes
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word. 228
I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock! 147
I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream. 102
A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck. 195
What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper! 277
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast 502
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. 128
I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me? 257
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. 159
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me. 135
There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one? 213
Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong! 124
My socks are having a party, do your pants want to come down? 15
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package. 40
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die" 156
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before? 55
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 73
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute. 79
You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you. 62
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns. 24
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas. 44
You know what would look good on you? Me! 18
Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I? 18
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays? 65
Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that! 49
That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too! 50
Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply! 76
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in! 18
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet. 61
If I followed you home, would you keep me? 25
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? 18
Lets play carpenter. First we get hammered, then I'll nail you! 6
I own a rocket. First stop your moons, then Uranus! 13
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 36
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear. 35
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!! 22
Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth! 52
You turn my software into hardware! 43
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you! 36
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you. 32
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend. 20
Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty. 25
Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar! 21
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money? 42
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants. 22
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight! 20
Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven? 17
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 21
Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street. 25
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious! 26
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway. 36
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin! 18
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you? 20
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you! 19
If you were a booger I would pick you first. 37
I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden. 22
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. 23
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is... 17
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel! 13
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants! 42
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous. 52
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me? 29
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together. 33
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart? 16
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight? 53
Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers. 22
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous. 41
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me. 19
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you. 14
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea! 12
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice. 11
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. 35
My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed. 21
Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed? 12
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night? 14
If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town. 22
You're ugly, but you intrigue me... 27
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot! 15
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good! 23
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me. 17
I'm gay, think you can convert me? 31
Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK 16
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? 29
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!! 29
Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be? 19
Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed? 26
Bond....James Bond 64
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice! 18
I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9? 39
Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed? 13
Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you! 28
Can you lick your nipples?
[No] Can I?
[Yes] Can you show me?
38
Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long. 32
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you! 12
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning. 13
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven? 17
Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you. 22
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off. 14
Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven! 19
You don't sweat much for a fat chick. 33
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me? 26
Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink. 17
Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim. 22
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter. 31
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away. 16
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name? 16
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all! 27
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT! 15
Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me. 26
Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away. 14
A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want." 25
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready. 33
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me. 19
Is your name mickey? because your so FINE! 56
Excuse me, did you just fart? 13


© 2006-2009 GotLines.com - Pick Up Lines