Funny Pick Up Lines

Funny Pick Up Lines

Pick Up Lines that make people laugh, some sparing no expense. Some lines will make them walk away; some may stick around for more of your funny self. There's no denying that there is power in a funny line and that it takes great skill to successfully use it to pick up. Just keep in mind that everyone always has room for a good laugh. If they don't, they're not looking to go home with anyone and you probably won't be interested in them anyway.

Pick Up LinesRating
You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.
 
3188
 
497
2691
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
 
1375
 
353
1022
A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 real, 1 fake and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"
 
1422
 
373
1049
If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.
 
904
 
253
651
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.
 
963
 
286
677
I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.
 
854
 
263
591
Know what's on the menu? Me-n-u.
 
365
 
115
250
Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.
 
669
 
213
456
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
 
813
 
261
552
Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back.
 
343
 
110
233
See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.
 
510
 
164
346
Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
 
491
 
159
332
It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!
 
517
 
170
347
You're so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line.
 
571
 
197
374
I have a boyfriend. [Guy] I have a pet goldfish. [Girl] What? [Guy] I thought we were talking about things that didn't matter.
 
412
 
142
270
Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.
 
445
 
154
291
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
 
217
 
76
141
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!
 
703
 
250
453
People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!
 
408
 
145
263
There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.
 
350
 
125
225
I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.
 
245
 
88
157
If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous.
 
503
 
186
317
Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
 
394
 
146
248
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
 
371
 
138
233
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
 
335
 
130
205
Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?
 
216
 
85
131
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!
 
274
 
109
165
You are so sweet you could put Hershey's out of business.
 
222
 
89
133
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
 
317
 
128
189
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
 
206
 
85
121
You know what material this is? [Grab your shirt] Boyfriend material.
 
156
 
65
91
I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!
 
186
 
79
107
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
 
311
 
133
178
Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?
 
248
 
106
142
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
 
380
 
169
211
Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.
 
281
 
125
156
It's a good thing I wore my gloves today; otherwise, you'd be too hot to handle.
 
124
 
55
69
Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!
 
168
 
75
93
Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!
 
256
 
116
140
I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman!
 
225
 
102
123
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!
 
307
 
140
167
I can't think of anyone else I'd rather survive a Zombie Apocalypse with.
 
204
 
93
111
Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
 
92
 
42
50
Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?
 
232
 
107
125
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
 
137
 
65
72
I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice Ass!
 
160
 
78
82
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
 
177
 
88
89
You are the reason Santa even has a naughty list.
 
165
 
82
83
Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
 
121
 
60
61
Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!
 
159
 
80
79
I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!
 
135
 
68
67
If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.
 
202
 
102
100
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.
 
171
 
87
84
Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.
 
99
 
51
48
I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!
 
118
 
61
57
If you were a booger I would pick you first.
 
212
 
111
101
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
 
145
 
76
69
Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...
 
165
 
87
78
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
 
134
 
71
63
What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!
 
130
 
69
61
I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
 
139
 
74
65
Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!
 
145
 
78
67
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
 
130
 
70
60
Bond....James Bond
 
238
 
129
109
Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!
 
164
 
89
75
We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.
 
117
 
64
53
Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?
 
138
 
77
61
Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!
 
150
 
84
66
My name is [your here] but you can call me tonight!
 
77
 
43
34
How much does a polar beat weight? Enough to break the ice!
 
91
 
51
40
Hi, I'm Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.
 
126
 
72
54
Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away.
 
105
 
60
45
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
 
94
 
54
40
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
 
80
 
46
34
Is that a shovel in your back pocket? Cuz I'm diggin dat ass!
 
72
 
42
30
Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
 
151
 
90
61
You're so hot you must've started global warming.
 
64
 
38
26
I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?
 
115
 
70
45
Looks like you dropped something , My jaw!
 
78
 
48
30
Hey, are you my appendix? Because I don't understand what you do, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out?
 
94
 
58
36
Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf? [ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!
 
124
 
77
47
You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
 
63
 
39
24
(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?
 
72
 
46
26
Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle!
 
50
 
32
18
You owe me a drink, you're so ugly I dropped mine when I saw you.
 
121
 
78
43
You're like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
 
82
 
53
29
I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
 
85
 
55
30
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
 
111
 
72
39
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
 
60
 
39
21
If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.
 
66
 
43
23
Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!
 
142
 
93
49
I can't take my eyes off of you. Unless, of course, you notice me. Then I'll quickly look away And act like nothing happened.
 
46
 
30
16
You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?
 
55
 
36
19
If you were a library book, I would check you out.
 
56
 
37
19
(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter.
 
80
 
53
27
I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.
 
50
 
33
17
What's your favorite silverware? Because I like to spoon!
 
35
 
23
12
You smell like trash, may I take you out?
 
107
 
71
36
Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope.
 
48
 
32
16
Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
 
76
 
51
25
Damn girl, if you were a fruit, you'd be a FINEapple!
 
58
 
39
19
Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you've got a pretty sweet ass.
 
54
 
37
17
I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!
 
70
 
49
21
(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me.
 
81
 
57
24
Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice.
 
54
 
38
16
I don't have a girlfriend, but I do know a woman who would be mad at me for saying that.
 
48
 
36
12
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
 
54
 
41
13
Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?
 
83
 
64
19
My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart.
 
48
 
37
11
Want to dance? Or should I go to hell again?
 
31
 
24
7
Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all!
 
90
 
71
19
If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery. I would choose the lottery. But it would be sooooo close, real close.
 
50
 
40
10
You don't sweat much for a fat chick.
 
137
 
111
26
You're so sweet, you're giving me a toothache.
 
40
 
33
7
Is it bright out here, or is that just your halo?
 
40
 
33
7
Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.
 
55
 
46
9
You have a good web-surfing stance.
 
39
 
33
6
Excuse me, did you just fart?
 
182
 
155
27
The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
 
40
 
34
6
You're like a fat stump, I'm always falling over you.
 
43
 
37
6
Do you have the time? No, the time to write down my number?
 
37
 
32
5
If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib!
 
31
 
27
4
Is stalking still cute?
 
46
 
41
5
You're ugly, but you intrigue me...
 
72
 
67
5
Do you mind if I hang out here until it's safe back where I farted?
 
63
 
59
4
Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off.
 
48
 
46
2
Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.
 
151
 
147
4
If you were a steak you would be well done.
 
42
 
41
1
My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.
 
32
 
34
-2
I just got this naughty list from Santa and I'm pretty sure you're on it.
 
42
 
47
-5
Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!
 
44
 
51
-7
What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
 
40
 
51
-11
I bet even your farts smell good.
 
54
 
72
-18
You MUST have a nice personality.
 
48
 
78
-30



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