120 Best Insult Comebacks

Best User Comebacks

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If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Comeback: Why would you do that when you could just climb my IQ and jump to yours? - Vinco

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: yeah cuz you would know what an accident looks like. you see it in the mirror everyday! - hayley

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Comeback: If I had to jump to yours, I'd be falling forever. - Lilah

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

Comeback: You can't eat alphabet soup because you always choke on the D - lol

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are Red,Violets are Blue your a waste of space,dont worry your mom is too - badout

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: (Roses are red Violets are blue Modified) "Roses are red, Violets are blue, at least god made me perfect, but dafuq happened to you? - Noneofurbusiness439

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Comeback: I wouldn't know, because I don't live my life with my head up my arse. - Edward Guyatt

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: 1. shut up your the reason why those condoms were invented in the first place 2. at least I can wear one - Ryan McClain

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Comeback: If there weren't assholes like me there wouldn't be SHIT like you.-AH- - AlexHuddson

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: If you want to learn about a real accident, ask you parents. - Anonymous

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Swans are white, BlueJays are blue,I would rather cry,then looking at you! - panda

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

Comeback: Yeah but right after they realized your mom was driving a trashtruck, and you the main load - swimboss

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: You don't even have a certificate because your "parents" don't even want the government to know you exist. - Noneofurbusiness439

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Comeback: Yeah Roses are red violets are blue And god STILL made me smarter than you. - XuzelB

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE MONKEYS LIKE U BELONG IN THE ZOO DONT BE MAD ILL BE THERE TO NOT IN THE CAGE BUT LAGHING AT U - SHANANNAY

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: Your death certificate is a reward letter from the funeral director. - Ills

I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

Comeback: Good. The sooner I die, the sooner I'll never have to look at your sorry ass ever again. - rorschachinstein

I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.

Comeback: Do you work at little Caesars cuz your hot and I'm ready! - Joey Backbone

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Comeback: I can't exactly help you with your head. But if you want something up your ass, I'd be happy to shove my foot up it. - hhhdhdjjdhdgrbfbdhd

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are red, weed is greener, you just earned yourself a kick in the wiener. - Amaru

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

Comeback: Your personality is what makes them sick in the first place - ... :/

You're the reason they invented double doors!

Comeback: Yes, so I can slam a door in you face twice! - caden123

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Comeback: Roses are red Violets aren't blue, Violets are violet, What the hell is wrong with you..? - randomidiot

I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.

Comeback: I'll be Burger King, and you'll be McDonalds. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it! - Joey Backbone

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are red, Violets are blue, When I look at you, I automatically get the flue - panda

I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

Comeback: Too bad you can't afford one! - NotWitty

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: WERE U BORN AT A DOG POUND? CAUSE UR A SON OF A B*TCH - Anonymous

You're stupid because you're blonde.

Comeback: What's your excuse? - Suha

You're so ugly, when you popped out the doctor said "Aww what a treasure" and your mom said "Yeah, lets bury it."

Comeback: And when you popped out, halloween was invented - swimboss

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

Comeback: and your uglier because when yo mama slapped U she got charged for animal abuse - hayley

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

Comeback: Yo mommas so fat that she broke a branch of the family tree. - joe

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Comeback: Your ego could collapse at any moment, since your IQ is not tall enough to prop it up securely. - Paradigm Arson

I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.

Comeback: its a good thing that i have my library card. why? because i am totally checking you out'' - ebrima

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Comeback: -Why don't you check yourself since your usually pretty far up there? - denna

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: Yo momma's so ugly the pictures hang themselves - Cj

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: I would love to insult u but I can't do as well as nature did - What to say if someone insults u

The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.

Comeback: That's a great idea , but i don't recommend it for you... your not use to being near a chick. - notImportant

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you. - -Q.K.

Shock me, say something intelligent.

Comeback: I've been holding back anything remotely intelligent because I didn't think you could process it. - Vinco

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

Comeback: this one is funny!! your family tree must be a cactus cuz everybody on it is a prick... - jojo

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: You'd better pull it out of your boyfriend's ass then.... - Magnus

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

Comeback: Hah! Well you mom got fined for bringing an unidentified object into this world! - Anonymous

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: The only accident around here is your face! - Johnny

I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

Comeback: I don't see that developing. - Jenny

You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.

Comeback: Why because you follow? - Ryan

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: and your birth certificate is a accident report. - Dan

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

Comeback: Too bad all of your smartass comebacks go down the toilet. - InYoAssBitch

I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you!

Comeback: Why, is it because they don't have to see your face every day either? - pepe

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.

Comeback: Roses are Red, Violets are blue, your ugly face belongs in a zoo, don't be sad I'll be there too, outside your cage, laughing at you! - HA

If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

Comeback: how the hell would you know what pretty is, your face looks like your neck just threw up. - denna

I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.

Comeback: As long as you got that Big Mac, you can be my king. - Ben

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: At least when my mom gave birth to me she didn't call God and ask for a refund... - Jessica

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Comeback: well to me you look an awful like the next guy im turning down... - well then

Hey, you have somthing on your chin... no, the 3rd one down

Comeback: At least you don't need a bookmark to count em all. - Eddie

I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's. I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.

Comeback: Can I follow you home? because my parents always told me to follow my dreams - Marissa

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: at least when i wasn't born with the doctor saying"Aww, what a treasure!", which led to your mom saying"Yeah, let's bury it." - anonymouse

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are red violets are blue, I smell stupidity and it must be you - Intellectual handiwork

Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.

Comeback: And you'll never be the pedo your uncle was! - Wookie

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Comeback: Roses are red, violets aren't blue, a violet it violet how stupid are you. - Squid

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: Shut up, you'll never be the man that your sister is ♥ - DeeDee

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: when you where born you weren't the first to cry - ivan

I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bullshit.

Comeback: It would probably be out of your price range anyway - ... :/

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable -- like a coma.

Comeback: Why don't you fall into something more comfortable, like a grave. - Anonomous

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the 'impression' that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Comeback: Then why are you talking? - Lilah

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are dead, Violets are too, when the world ends, so will you.. - love

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: id slap you but that would be animal abuse - ivan

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Comeback: You just proved your own point. - Anonymous

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: I would comment on you too but Cows are sacred in my country - AlexHuddsom

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

Comeback: Your the reason why girls turn lezbian - AlexHuddson

You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.

Comeback: You must be a leftie then. - hi MOM

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Comeback: But then again if you wanted to see things from a better and more sanitary point of view try getting your head out of your ass... and you will find that your brain won't be as clogged with shit. - Ben

It's too bad stupidity isn't painful.

Comeback: Yeah, cuz if it were you'd be dying - Leela

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Comeback: Well if I was stuck with you I wouldn't mind burning to death/ If I was stuck with you burning to death would be a step up. - denna

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: You're the cause of the creation of condoms. - AnusAss

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are red, Pink starts with P, I've never seen something drop so hard, Since the Greek economy. - Phan

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Comeback: Assholes belong in pants, why are you not there? - kitloin

You're stupid because you're blonde.

Comeback: Wherever you go you bring sadness. WHENever you go, you bring happiness. - insultgenerator

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: Your so fat last Christmas I took a picture of you and it is still printing - sibuna4180

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: you family tree is a cactus cuz everyone in it is a prick - jim

You look like something I'd draw with my left hand.

Comeback: good. I wouldn't want to be drawn with the hand you shoved into your mother's butthole. - Viguen

Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.

Comeback: Well, you would only know from experience. - Pilliam

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you.

Comeback: Roses are red, grass is green yo ugly ass makes me want to scream! - adahir

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.

Comeback: You're the kind of kid who stares at orange juice boxes because they say "concentrate". - A Master. (HYPER)

What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't.

Comeback: atleast i dont have to get laid with a chicken. - Seeker1970

You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.

Comeback: “Do you want a giant condom? I mean you’re acting like a d*ck so you might as well dress like one.” - Bekah

If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

Comeback: Hey at least I can switch your stuck with that one, do us all a favor a put a bag over it. - denna

At least when I do a handstand my stomach doesn't hit me in the face.

Comeback: I could lose the stomach but you can't lose that face - Me

Excuse me, did you just fart?

Comeback: No dear, that's just the smell of the BULLSHIT you're slinging! - VAMP

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Comeback: OR Yeah Roses are red Violets are blue And god still made me better than you - XuzelB

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

Comeback: Did they tie up your asshole because all the shit is coming out of your mouth? - Alice

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Comeback: God made Coke, God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy God made rivers, God made lakes God made you, oh, we all make mistakes - Dat Guy

You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC.

Comeback: The only reason im fat is because every time i fu*ked ur mum she gave me a cookie - frank

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

Comeback: I'm sorry, you must have been devastated when your mommy said that to you. - My Dixie wrecked

You're stupid because you're blonde.

Comeback: you're stupid because you think intelligence is dictated by hair color. - Ghtrdry

Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.

Comeback: And two rights can go hella wrong, take you as an example. - K.L

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Comeback: Yea roses are red, but violets aren't blue, violets are violet, so im smarter than you, and just so you know, looks aren't for you, cause god made me pretty, but what happened to you? - Idek

If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Comeback: You're right! You can't jump that high, you'll just end up hurting yourself - Me

Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.

Comeback: Was your dad a donkey? Because you really are an ass! - Psychedellicereal

If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

Comeback: Only to find out I'm poison Ivy - Psychedellicereal

It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Comeback: Well, better to let people think you're smart until you open your mouth and prove them wrong. - HatrsGonnaHate

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