Scientology brings its own vocabulary — thetans, auditing, e-meters, clears — and this page puts all of it to work. These are our Scientology pick up lines, ranked by reader votes. They are jokes rather than genuine outreach, and they land with people who already know enough about the subject to catch the references. Expect a fair amount about being audited and getting clear. Nobody is going to be won over by these, which is entirely the point of them being here.
