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Scientology Pick Up Lines

You never know where you'll meet someone cute and find out they're into Scientology. We have an awesome list of Scientology pick up lines.




The Best Scientology Pick Up Lines

I've got some charge you can blow!
There's a powerful Thetan inhabiting my body and the only way to get rid of it is with your mouth.
Is that a Thetan in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Your body is in screaming affluence!
Hi dollface, wanna come uplines and let me park my throbbing spaceship in your steaming volcano?
Didn't I see you at the Implant Station?
Let's go somewhere and postulate you out of that dress.
Perhaps you can help me with my PTP by snapping terminals with me and being my twin on some TNA processing.
I'll let you be in a condition of power.
I've got an E-Meter in my pants you can use.
Hey gurl, you lookin' a little stressed out. Why don't you let me check yo' thetan levels back at MY place?
Would you like to come home and audit on my e-meter?
Where have you been all my Whole Track?
Let me stick my evil xenu in your cave.
Didn't we hook up in a past life?
You're so sexy that you make me exteriorize.
Weren't we married in a previous life?
I'll assign you a post, but I really don't mind if you blow it
I'd like to have her on my post.
How'd you like to pick up these cans?
Get on your knees, open your mouth, and hail Xenu!
Congratulations, you've gone Clear... to my heart!
Wanna go up my Bridge to Total Pleasure?
Can you help me meet my dissemination targets? I'll let you be in a condition of power.
Would you like to ride my face to total freedom?
Want to help me get my stats up?
Wanna MEST around?
Let's co-audit on OT LXIX.
You're sweating because of those extra Body Thetans. Want to slip into something more comfortable?
There's an incident in my pants, and you're invited.

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I've got some charge you can blow!
There's a powerful Thetan inhabiting my body and the only way to get rid of it is with your mouth.
Is that a Thetan in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?