GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Scientology Pick Up Lines

You never know where you'll meet someone cute and find out they're into Scientology. We have an awesome list of Scientology pick up lines.

The Best Scientology Pick Up Lines

I've got some charge you can blow!
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19
There's a powerful Thetan inhabiting my body and the only way to get rid of it is with your mouth.
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Your body is in screaming affluence!
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7
I've got an E-Meter in my pants you can use.
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7
Hi dollface, wanna come uplines and let me park my throbbing spaceship in your steaming volcano?
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9
Is that a Thetan in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
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15
Didn't I see you at the Implant Station?
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1
Can you help me meet my dissemination targets? I'll let you be in a condition of power.
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1
I'll let you be in a condition of power.
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1
Get on your knees, open your mouth, and hail Xenu!
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1
Perhaps you can help me with my PTP by snapping terminals with me and being my twin on some TNA processing.
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1
Let me stick my evil xenu in your cave.
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1
Let's go somewhere and postulate you out of that dress.
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Hey gurl, you lookin' a little stressed out. Why don't you let me check yo' thetan levels back at MY place?
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Whenever I see you, my tone arm rises!
  
  
Congratulations, you've gone Clear... to my heart!
  
  
I've been waiting 75 million years to see a meat body like yours.
  
  
What's a pretty girl like you doing on a prison planet like this?
  
  
I want to put my intention in you.
  
  
I'm bad luck. Why don't you pull me in?
  
  
Hey babe, I'd like to you feel my postulate.
  
  
There's an incident in my pants, and you're invited.
  
  
My org needs a touch assist.
  
  
You're sweating because of those extra Body Thetans. Want to slip into something more comfortable?
  
  
How about you hold my can while I audit your body thetans?
  
  
Let's co-audit on OT LXIX.
  
  
Wanna MEST around?
  
  
Want to help me get my stats up?
  
  
Would you like to ride my face to total freedom?
  
  
Wanna go up my Bridge to Total Pleasure?
  
  

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I've got some charge you can blow! There's a powerful Thetan inhabiting my body and the only way to get rid of it is with your mouth. Your body is in screaming affluence!