Hilarious Dad Jokes

Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.

Top Clean Dad Jokes

How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me don't answer it.
I knew I shouldn't have ate that seafood. Because now I'm feeling a little... Eel
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don't think it's feline well.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'
What happened when the two antennas got married? Well, the ceremony was kinda boring, but the reception was great!
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO.

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