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Hilarious Dad Jokes - Part 3

Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.


The Best Dad Jokes

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.
People don't like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
Me: 'Dad, make me a sandwich!' Dad: 'Poof, You're a sandwich!'
A police officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other one off.
What did the daddy tomato say to the baby tomato? catch up!
Doctor, I've broken my arm in several places Doctor Well don't go to those places.
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'
What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments? An Orca-stra.
We were getting fast food when the lady at the window said, 'Any condiments?' My dad responded, 'Compliments? You look very nice today!'
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice container? It said concentrate!
I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there
Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have nobody to go with.
When phone ringing Dad says 'If it's for me don't answer it.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide but you can't run.