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Animal Jokes

Jokes about animals and animal things. Animals are funny, they do funny things and make easy targets for jokes. Their feelings won't get hurt. Go ahead and tell that Giraffe that is looks silly becasue of his long funny neck.


The Best Animal Jokes

What do you call a bear with no teeth? -- A gummy bear!
Why did the duck go to rehab? Because he was a quack addict!
What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? -- Damn
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
What do you call a cow with no legs? -- Ground beef.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill.
What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Where do you get virgin wool? -- Ugly sheep.
Why are horses always so fit? Because they're on a stable diet.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? -- A fsh
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers? The outside.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off the cliff!
Why do hummingbirds hum? Because they don't know the words.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack!
Why does the lion keep losing when playing cards? -- Because he keeps playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Where do horses go shopping? Old-neighvy
What kind of horses go out after dusk? -- Nightmares!

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