Irish Jokes

The Irish have a long tradition of telling jokes over a pint or ten at the pub. The're also known for not being afraid of throwing some punches so watch who you say these to.

The Best Irish Jokes

Never iron a four leaf clover. You don't want to press your luck.
Irish saying - There are only three kinds of men who don't understand women: young men, old men, and middle aged men.
Irish diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way they'll look forward to the trip.
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't got the joke yet.
Irish Blessing - As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
What do you call two gay Irish men? -- Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? -- A bachelor.
The Irish way - Now don't be talking about yourself while you're here. We'll surely be doing that after you leave.
How does every Irish joke start? -- By looking over your shoulder.
You can't kiss an Irish girl unexpectedly. You can only kiss her sooner than she thought you would.
How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? - He's Dublin over with laughter!
What do you call a big Irish spider? -- A Paddy long legs.
What do you call a Irish man with a piece of glass behind both ears? -- Paddy O'Doors.
An Irish man walks out of a bar...oh, right, stumbles out of a bar
Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? -- There's one less drunk.
What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't wander around Dublin thinking he's Bono.
What's the difference between Ireland and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight? -- Liam Malone
What do you call an Irishman covered in boils? -- A leper-chaun.
Did you hear about the winner of the Irish beauty contest? -- Me neither.

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