The Irish have a long tradition of telling jokes over a pint or ten at the pub. The're also known for not being afraid of throwing some punches so watch who you say these to.
The Best Irish Jokes
Never iron a four leaf clover. You don't want to press your luck.
Irish saying - There are only three kinds of men who don't understand women: young men, old men, and middle aged men.
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't got the joke yet.
Irish diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell in such a way they'll look forward to the trip.
Irish Blessing - As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
What do you call two gay Irish men? -- Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.
What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? -- A bachelor.
How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? - He's Dublin over with laughter!
The Irish way - Now don't be talking about yourself while you're here. We'll surely be doing that after you leave.
What do you call a big Irish spider? -- A Paddy long legs.
How does every Irish joke start? -- By looking over your shoulder.
What do you call an Irishman covered in boils? -- A leper-chaun.
Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral? -- There's one less drunk.
You can't kiss an Irish girl unexpectedly. You can only kiss her sooner than she thought you would.
What do you call a Irish man with a piece of glass behind both ears? -- Paddy O'Doors.
An Irish man walks out of a bar...oh, right, stumbles out of a bar
What's the difference between God and Bono? God doesn't wander around Dublin thinking he's Bono.
What's the difference between Ireland and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight? -- Liam Malone
Did you hear about the winner of the Irish beauty contest? -- Me neither.
An Irishman lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup. And another hundred on the replay.
Two farmers were driving a tractor down the middle of a road. A car comes around the corner backs hard to avoid them , skids, tumbles twice and land in a field. Jimmy say to Eamonn it's just as well we got out of that field.
Seamus do you understand French? I do if its spoken in Irish!
A visitor to a small Irish village commented to a local Garda that it was a quiet little place. The Garda replied, quiet to be sure, we haven't buried a living soul in years.
When the Irish say that St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, what they don't tell you is that he was the only one who saw any snakes!
What is black and blue and found floating up-side-down in the Irish sea? -- Someone who's tells a stupid Irish joke!
Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? -- Cos they're always a little short!
What do you call an Irishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? -- A Referee.
Why did God invent whiskey? -- So the Irish would never rule the world.
Paddy and Murphy were walking down a road one day, Paddy said, Murphy, can you see that beautiful wood over there Murphy, I can't see, theirs trees in the way!
Why wasn't Jesus born in Ireland? -- He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.
What do you call an Irishman who sits outside all night?
Paddy O' Furniture
