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Hilarious Dad Jokes

Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.


The Best Dad Jokes

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.
How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?A waist of time.
I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
What happened when the two antennas got married? Well, the ceremony was kinda boring, but the reception was great!
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.
What kind of shoes does a thief wear? Sneakers
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO.

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Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'



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