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Hilarious Dad Jokes

Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.


The Best Dad Jokes

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?A waist of time.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
How does a penguin build it's house? Igloos it together.
What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.
How can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles.
5/4 of people admit that they're bad with fractions.
What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 5000 miles
What happened when the two antennas got married? Well, the ceremony was kinda boring, but the reception was great!
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don't turn it on.
I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'