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Hilarious Dad Jokes - Part 5

Dad jokes so embarrassingly bad they're actually funny. Don't get caught in public with these terrible, punny jokes. We've got some classic, clean dad jokes sure to make you laugh, or roll your eyes.


The Best Dad Jokes

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, 'The good news is..it'll feel better when it quits hurting.'
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
Where does batman go to the bathroom? The batroom.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.
Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
Ill call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts
I've never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.
Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.

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I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
Every time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, 'The good news is..it'll feel better when it quits hurting.'