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Funny Puns - Part 3

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

Check out GotPuns.com for More Funny Puns.

The Best Puns

In plumbing,a straight flush is better than a full house
A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained.
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A Chopin Liszt.
What did the kid say when his mother poured oatmeal on him? "How can you be so gruel?"
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
If a Greek deity tried on your jacket it would be Titan uncomfortable.
I knew my wife was pregnant when she looked at me with fertilize.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Who was the slowest of the ancient Greek philosophers? Aristurtle.
With fronds like these, who needs anemones?
The cost of feathers has risen, now even down is up
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? -- Tennish.
So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world
I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
Kobe Bryant is a terrible fisherman because he always gets nothing but net.

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In plumbing,a straight flush is better than a full house
A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained.