Funny Puns

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

The Best Puns
What day of the year is a command to go forward? March 4th.
Where did the king put his armies? In his sleevies.
Me'a skeptic? I trust you have proof
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
Try Milk of Amnesia - when you need to forget
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes? You can't venom all.
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
What time does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon? -- Tennish.
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world

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