GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Puns - Part 4

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

The cost of feathers has risen, now even down is up
Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.
With fronds like these, who needs anemones?
A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
When the town removed billboards, they told people that's how it was designed.
Try Milk of Amnesia - when you need to forget
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
What would you get if you crossed a parrot with a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
The smoker always listened to his favorite Rap artist on his smoke breaks. He was a Tupac a day man.
What day of the year is a command to go forward? March 4th.
I practice debating in the mirror but I always come across as one-sided and two-faced.
I finished my trigonometry exam without a secant to lose.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
If intervening was an olympic sport, he'd win the gold meddle.
If I am afraid of losing my fat tissue. My psychiatrist told me I have an adipose complex.
Where did the king put his armies? In his sleevies.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
What did the coach say to his losing team of snakes? You can't venom all.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

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The cost of feathers has risen, now even down is up Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper. With fronds like these, who needs anemones?