Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.
The astronomer quit his job to become a barber. Eclipse hair now.
How do pinnipeds communicate? With seal phones.
What do you get when you pour cement on a burglar? A hardened criminal.
What would you get if you crossed a donkey with an owl? A smart ass which knows it all.
I was going to buy some loose tea, but the price was too steep.
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
All births are an Emergency.
What's a cow eating grass? A lawn mooer.
What do you get if you cross a bullet and a tree with no leaves? A cartridge in a bare tree.
I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
What did the painter say to the wall? "One more crack and I'll plaster you!"
Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
The Irish government is wealthy because its capital is always Dublin.
What do you call a train loaded with toffee? A chew chew train.
A monster who likes to ring doorbells is a knock less monster.
What kind of coat can be put on only when wet? A coat of paint.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
