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Funny Puns - Part 3

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

Check out GotPuns.com for More Funny Puns.

The Best Puns

A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained.
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
With fronds like these, who needs anemones?
The cost of feathers has risen, now even down is up
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
What did the kid say when his mother poured oatmeal on him? "How can you be so gruel?"
So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world
I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
Ice cold coffee? Cool beans!
Kobe Bryant is a terrible fisherman because he always gets nothing but net.
'I got lost in the streets of Paris,' he said ruefully.
Where did the king put his armies? In his sleevies.
Addicted to brake fluid? Nah, I can stop any time. (Mark Foerster)
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.
Try Milk of Amnesia - when you need to forget
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

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A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained.
Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.