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Funny Puns - Part 5

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

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The Best Puns

Practice safe eating, always use condiments.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
A good acupuncture is a jab well done.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!!
Me'a skeptic? I trust you have proof
To learn about paranoids, follow them around.
Tried to play my shoehorn - all I got was footnotes
When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall
A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

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Practice safe eating, always use condiments.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.