Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you a T-account? Because you balance me perfectly.
You must be an audit, because you've uncovered all the best parts of me.
Are you FIFO? Because you've been first in my heart for a long time.
Are you retained earnings? Because I want to invest in you forever.
Are you my balance sheet? Because you're everything I've been looking for.
You must be a cash flow statement, because you make my heart run smoothly.
I don't need to reconcile my feelings—they're all in favor of you.
Are you an expense? Because I can't stop spending time thinking about you.
Are you depreciation? Because my resistance to you is decreasing over time.
You're like a tax refund—completely unexpected but absolutely wonderful.
Are you a CPA? Because you've certified my love as authentic.
Are you double-entry accounting? Because you're a perfect match for me.
You've got me doing emotional audits, and every line points to loving you.
Are you the standard deduction? Because you're making my life so much easier.
I must be a fixed asset, because my heart appreciates you every day.
Are you net income? Because you've become the bottom line of my happiness.
Are you revenue? Because every time I see you, my spirits increase.
Let's merge like companies, because together, we'd be unstoppable.
Are you inventory? Because I can't wait to count you as mine.
Are you my tax preparer? Because you've got all the right answers.
