Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you revenue? Because every time I see you, my spirits increase.
Let's merge like companies, because together, we'd be unstoppable.
Are you inventory? Because I can't wait to count you as mine.
Are you my tax preparer? Because you've got all the right answers.
Are you a contingent liability? Because I didn't expect to fall for you this hard.
You must be an intangible asset, because I can't describe how amazing you are.
Are you my tax bracket? Because you're in a league of your own.
You've got my heart crediting love and debiting loneliness.
Are you a trial balance? Because everything feels right when you're around.
You're like my favorite spreadsheet—organized, efficient, and absolutely perfect.
Are you a variance report? Because you're an unexpected surprise.
You must be working capital, because you're keeping my heart running smoothly.
Are you a ledger? Because I'd trust you with all my entries.
Are you interest revenue? Because my feelings for you just keep growing.
I don't need to amortize my feelings—my love for you is instant.
Are you a balance sheet? Because my assets and liabilities are all about you.
You're like a tax credit—an absolute lifesaver.
Are you an internal audit? Because you've revealed how amazing you truly are.
I must be inventory, because my heart is turning over just thinking about you.
Are you cost accounting? Because you're adding so much value to my life.
