Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
When anorexics see you, they think they need to go on a diet.
Hey baby, why don't you and me go somewhere nice and pass the Bechdel Test together?
Come ride my star rocket and feel it explode, with the the thrust of two engines transporting my load.
Are you British? Cause I wanna screw EU.
You want to dip your chips into my salsa?
If you were a burger at McDonald's, you would be the new McShock.
I just brushed my teeth, ladies.
I don't know you, but I think I love you already
I wanna make you scream.
You make me want to be a better tither.
I came here looking for a little tail.
I live in a cage full of Cedar shavings vibration.
Is your father a plumber? Because when you come in the room, it seems so clogged.
Girl I'm an Electrician, I can turn your lights on.
Is that a batting glove in your pocket, or do you have kind of a lumpy butt? Cuz if you do, that's cool. I'm not picky.
You be the Knicks and I'll bring the Heat!
I'm a good ball handler, what about you?
Why go to the gym when you could be getting a work out at my place?
I wanna get your heart rate going.
Are you glow tape? Cause you're all I can see.
I would drag my balls through 200 yards of broken glass to kiss the dick that fucked you last.
You give me an Assiniboiner.
I can name something that's longer than Confederation Bridge.
Would you like to come over for tea and crumpets?
Come here often, because you smell fishy?
Can I stick my rudder in your stern?
Toi-let me be your valentine?
Black is cool, do you have any acid, sweetheart?
Who was the most famous French skeleton? - Napoleon bone-apart
Which building does Dracula visit in New York? - The Vampire State Building.
I am drawn to your light. (Mothman)
You must be tired, because you've been running through my nightmares all night!
Excuse me, Miss, could you sign for this package? (Delivery Guy)
Good thing I'm here, it has to be illegal to look that good. (Police)
I'm a doctor and you look like you could use these shots.
Will you be my Valentine? I can wait.
Don't walk away, babe. You may not think I'm perfect but Jesus thinks I'm to die for.
I'd like to be in a geostationary orbit around you.
Baby, you make my rover raise its mast into a vertical position.
Do you smell like fish? Because I like sushi.
Is that luggage in your trunk, or are you just happy to see me?
Lane lines can't keep us apart.
Hey, climb here often?
Is that your belay device or are you just happy to see me?
Wanna go with me to pick up parts and salt?
A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
The tap dancer's routine ran hot and cold.
Dorothy's dog, of the Wizard of Oz fame, always eats his food entirely - he never leaves any scraps because it's in toto.
You can't sing with a mouthful of garbanzo beans, so hummus a tune.
When the knight logged onto his computer there was the message, 'You got mail.' It was a chain letter.
When a female sheep turns around and goes the other way it makes a ewe turn.
I'll show you where Easter eggs come from - you may be surprised!
I'm in the mood to multiply, baby!
You look this good and its only Saturday? I'd like to see you in your Sunday Best.
Is your name Ronaldinho? Because your ball control is amazing.
Ever wondered why people call me the shooter?
I wish someone was there to alley-oop my air-balls.
Coach told me to keep my heart rate under 160 beats per minute, but then I saw you.
You lane or mine?
I'm tired of the singles action—how about we play some doubles?
My spandex aren't the only thing that's tight.
Are you a volleyball? Cause I'd get my hands all over you any day.
Do you like yoga? Because I could downward dog you all night.
Are you from Brazil because you look like you'd be good off your back.
Your love is like a cage. I can't escape it.
Are you a pizza? Because I don't want to share you.
I spelled out your name with the pepperonis.
Do you like strawberries or blueberries? ‘Because I need to know what pancakes to make you in the morning.
Your food is making my mouth wet.
Want to learn how to truss with me?
I like your melons, can I taste them?
You're so sexy, I'd even let you fold my pages dog-eared style.
Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh. What are you doing Friday night?
Girl, were you born on Diwali? Because you are a Pataka.
Looks like you need some laying on of hands for the commission of sin.
I think it's time that we moved out of the Singles ward. If you know what I mean.
Girl, let's go invisible.
If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. But I is already in the middle of something with A, D and S, so I guess it wouldn't work.
I got u something special baby, it's the condom I used when I lost my virginity
Got two nipples for a dime?
I wanna eat the flavors off your tampon
Was your daddy a thief? I'm not. I'm a serial killer.
Hey babe, wanna come over to my place and compare prescription drug plans?
