Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Hey baby, you look so good in those jeans I 'd like to chop your legs off.
That is a gun in a pocket and I am not pleased to see you.
Check my prostate if I'm wrong, but do I know you from somewhere?
Come here often? I seriously can't remember.
You, me and the defribrillator, baby.
You must be Australian because you've turned my life upside-down.
I don't mean to be forword, but you seem fit for breeding.
If you want to see a castle, I'll show you a castle.
You've got beauty like Petit Champlain and curves like Bonhomme.
A fiddle isn't the only thing my fingers know their way around.
Mi wudda climb a makka tree naked fi yuh
Ay caramba! You're hotter than a jalepeño in the Mexican desert.
What do I have to say to your world to turn your, how do I say, enchiladas?
You are as pretty as a Green card.
Did it hurt, when you fell off your horse?
Girl, I'm like a champion bull rider, most of the time, I can last for almost 8 seconds.
You sure make me wish I hadn't crapped my pants when that bull charged.
Wanna see how much horsepower is under ma hood?
Call me morbid, call me pale, call me yours.
Didn't I go to your funeral?
Are you here alone or am I gonna have to kill someone to win your affection.
The theme of this movement is love... Let's develop it...
I think we could make beautiful wine together.
Hey gurlll want to help me bury my bone?
You have a face that could make a blind person regain their sight, only to gouge their own eyes out in horror.
Is your dad a terrorist? Because you're the bombshell that nobody wants around.
You must be a transformer because you're transforming my day into something special.
Are you a sterile environment? Because you've eliminated all my doubts.
The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine.
So would you like to make 4 babies with me?
I've got an E-meter for two back at my pad.
So, are you a goth? Wanna' get coffee?
You you were any more stupid, you'd have to be watered twice a week.
You can take me home tonight, but only if Yuletide-y up your place.
Size matters not.
You are the full Moon and I am the Star.
I can't promise you the moon and stars, but I can promise you Mars.
You look like you have excellent genetics and would be a fine mother. Wanna breed?
Let's become a potty of two tonight.
I can bend it better than beckham.
May I put my balls in your basket?
Are you a top spin? Cause you got me hitting the floor.
Is your body McDonald's? Cos I'm lovin' it.
The Holy Spirit is driving me into the wilderness of your temptations.
I jumped the border to america...so I bet I can jump the border to you're heart.
Yes I drink blood. You wouldn't happen to be menstruating now, would you?
Hey girl. What's your bracket lookin like this year?
You grow on people, like a wart!
Are you fertile? I need a favor. (Why?) I need a baby by next summer in order to get my inheritence
I'm gay, straighten me out! I'm joining the priesthood tomorrow
Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
Your brain must be made out of rocking horse shit.
Where did the goblin throw the football? - Over the ghoul line.
What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? - A toasty ghosty.
Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? He heard it had great circulation.
What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop? - Scream or sugar!
What do witches use in their hair? - scare-spray
What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? - blood-thirsty hacker baby
What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? - A grave problem.
Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes? - Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.
What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? - A boo-tie.
Why do skeletons drink milk? - To help their bones!
What's a skeletons favorite part of the house? - the living room
What did the teenage witch ask her mother on Haloween? - Can i have the keys to the broom tonight.
What kind of Christmas tree comes from Hawaii? O Tanning Palms!
What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime? Season's Bleatings!
Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas party? It was a moth ball
What do you call it when Santa takes a break from delivering presents? Santa pause
What do you call it when Cris Kringle claps his hands? Santapplause
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters? They both drop needles
Wanna go for a bite? (Vampire)
Pardon me for drooling, but without my jaw, I can't help myself.
Tricks aren't really my thing. But you're sure a treat.
I wish you were a vampire so we could do some necking.
I was going to go as a ghost but you'll get to see my sheets later.
Wow, that's one fantastic spread!
If we were around with Noah, then you, me, pair!
High, I'm Will, God's will!
I'd marry Leah if it meant I'd also get to marry you.
Hey, look! Matching Bible covers!
We talk a lot about being spirit-led. Well, the spirit led me straight to you.
My spiritual gift is my good looks... it lifts peoples spirits.
I don't know if you noticed, but when you walked into the room, that was me giving up a clap offering.
You are perfect, except with all the sin.
Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead.
I like you how I like the Sumatran Tiger. Saved!
I'm led by the Holy Spirit, and he led me straight to you
If we were around at the time of Noahs Ark, we´d be paired as a couple
You really are a fisher of men cause baby you just reeled me in.
I'd give you my heart, but I already gave it to Jesus, so you can have my number instead.
I don't care what Copernicus says, you're the only planet to me.
Hey baby, mind if I send my probe into your wormhole?
Ouch. You stepped on my foot. I've got an idea for how you can mitigate your damages.
I'm a lawyer... Thrust me.
You're like an island where everyone wants to dock his ship.
I'm not bragging or anything but, I'm Merman.
Your skin is burning like my heart.
Damn girl! You look extra fine with that glowing tan.
Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
