Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
I met the woman of my dreams at the base of Mount Vesuvius. She is the lava my life.
I mixed up the cardiac resuscitation equipment with the lie detector, but I will de-fib you later.
The exhibitionist went to the store because he heard they were having a flash sale.
Do you have a name or can I call you 'ugly'?
There was a hiring freeze at the ice-skating rink.
Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for someone way better than you.
I ordered whole wheat toast but it tasted funny. I think something was awry.
The Bible says to bring all our requests to God. I've prayed, and here you are.
I've heard alot about you, now let's hear your side of the story.
Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
There's nothing I won't do for you, and I'm going to keep on doing it.
You must be a catheter, because you're draining all my worries away.
People avoid you like the plague, not just because of your ugliness, but because you radiate a putrid stench of repulsiveness.
Your mirror must be traumatized from having to reflect your hideous visage day after day.
If there was an award for the ugliest motherfucker on the planet, you'd win it without any competition.
Your face looks like it was hit by a freight train, then dragged through a field of broken glass for good measure.
Your car is a pathetic excuse for transportation, a rolling embarrassment on wheels.
Your car is so old and rusty, it's a living testament to the concept of decay and neglect.
The only thing your car is good for is as a source of laughter for everyone who sees it.
Do you have a privacy policy? Cause I'd love to see your fine print.
