Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
It's always bikram yoga when you're doing it.
We aren't even in hot yoga, yet you make them sweat.
I love it when you wear your yoga pants all day.
I will walk across your bridge.
You can call me Palhares. Because I can't wait to tap that.
Are those Vale Tudo shorts you're wearing or are you just happy to see me?
I hope our love is like a GSP fight. It never ends.
Been thinking about you a latte.
Do you need more sugar or am I sweet enough?
Can I get your number? Because I like you a latte.
I like my pizza like I like my men. Deep.
I want to give you olive my love.
Do you like mushrooms because I could mush you in a room.
Girl, tonight I want you to be my mcdonalds...fast, cheap, and easy.
I have veganaise in the fridge at my place.
Hey there, I bought you some fair trade, organic, vegan chocolate.
How do you like your eggs, substituted or fertilized?
I may not eat animal products, but that doesn't mean I can't swallow.
I'll give you a reason to try milk again.
Hi there, are you drinking a glass of wine? I love travel how about you?
I'm wasted but the condom in my wallet doesn't have to be.
Would you like to come back to my place and watch Netflix while drinking cheap wine and eating Chipotle?
Girl, you're finer than my ground pepper!
I can bone out 5 chickens in 10minutes, just think of the sexual implications.
I can do amazing things to your tongue.
Girl, you're so fine I could sift flour with you.
I love you as much as I love oyster sauce.
I'd like to casserole you. That's done slowly for about four hours.
Order fire, two shots of tequilla and your phone number.
Wanna go back to my place for some lamb chop lollipop?
Wanna lick my beater?
Your legs are like peanut butter, smooth creamy and easy to spread.
If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
Are you a frito cause your really corny.
I've always thought that cucumbers were such a sensual fruit.
Is your dad a japelano because you sure are hot.
You are the glaze to my donut.
You're like an appetizer, cause you always come first.
I have a big tip for you but I'll have to give it to you in private.
Girl, I know you want this tip.
Hey, I've never eaten here before. What do you all recommend?
I noticed you, noticing me when I ordered.
If you liked the tip, come by later and I'll give you the full thing.
You get 25 percent of the bill and 100 percent of my heart. Call me?
Your money isn't the only tip I want.
Is work the only place that you are good at serving?
I'm thinking of getting into waitressing...can you give me any tips on how to break into the industry?
I wear this leaf blower so I can blow you 270 mph kisses.
Can I rake your front yard?
Are you in the Library catalogue? I'd love to get you're number.
I want to impress a cute stranger with my book choice. Do you have any recommendations?
Are you librarian? Because I really need to get shushed!
Did I just step into an E. M. Forster novel? Because any room with you in it is A Room with a View.
My dog is humping your dog. It must be fate!
Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day with a frisbee in your mouth.
Haven't I sniffed you someplace before?
Would you like to go on a poop-duty double date?
We must be near the port or is it just because my heart is beating too fast coz I like you?
Some days I wish you were like a flight just so I can be the one to catch you up.
It seems I have got me some good tickets, want to check if my seat reclines?
Hey girl I bought Photoshop for the Magic Wand Tool 'cause I wanna make you my selection.
Like the Mona Lisa smile, I find your smile absolutely intriguing.
You had me at the gallery entrance.
Nice to meet you. I would shake your hand but the sign says not to touch the masterpieces.
Are you a script from a previous show? Because I'll never forget you.
Baby is that my name tattooed on your back?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Is there room on this kneeler for two?
Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Will you be my date to mass?
Are you devoted to St.Joseph the Worker? Because there's no denying you're working it.
Let's do some things you'll need to tell your priest about tomorrow.
Girl are you the Ascension? Cause you're a Glorious Mystery.
Hey are you busy Sunday? Wanna meet me at the altar?
Saint Augustine said to fall in love with God is the greatest romance, but falling in love with you is just as great.
Do you go to Latin Mass before coming to the gym? Because your form is extraordinary.
You, me, candles, wine, and a little Lamb of God?
Hey girl, I heard there aren't many married saints. How about we work on that together?
Hey girl is your name Jerusalem cause i'm going to liberate your holy land.
Sometimes it seems like our plans make more sense than His. Don't take the bait.
If loving you is a heresy, then let me be anathema.
I can stop praying to St. Anthony because I found you.
The only Confession I need to be doing is confessing my love for your pure heart.
That saree looks very nice on you. It would look even better off of you.
We are the reincarnated souls of two past lovers. It's our destiny to be together, you just don't remember our past life together.
Hey baby doll! Want to have four kids with me?
My life without you is like bhel without chutney.
I've been reading the Book of Numbers, and realized I don't have yours.
If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.
Are you the iron rod? Because I wanna hold onto you for the rest of eternity.
Don't I know you from the pre-existence?
If you were the iron rod, I would hold on to you for all eternity.
Would you mind auditing me on the Happiness Rubdown?
Is that a cluster of body thetans or are you just happy to see me?
You remind me of a mezuzah... So, I'm supposed to kiss you, right?
Baby I'd nail you harder then we nailed Jesus to that cross.
That yarmulke would look great on my bedroom floor!
Wanna get a drink sometime? I was thinking a glass of wine - I know this really great chuppah we can hang out under.
I need to break my fast. Can I have a date?
So, read any good Surahs lately?
Next place I want to see your hijab is on my bedroom floor.
