GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Funny Medical Pick Up Lines for Nurses and Doctors

You never know when you'll need a pick up line for that Doctor or Nurse. Maybe you're stuck in the hospital for a little while and want to cheer some people up?

Top Doctor, Nurse and Medical Lines

My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I'm falling for you.
10
  
10
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.
8
  
8
You're like an N95 mask—irreplaceable and essential.
5
  
5
Are you a surgical light? Because you brighten up everything around you.
3
  
3
Are you a hospital bed? Because I'd rest easy with you by my side.
2
  
2
Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.
2
  
2
Are you a medical license? Because you're proof that perfection exists.
2
  
2
I have my own multi-positional bed!
2
  
2
Is that a Laryngoscope handle in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
2
  
2
Is that an oxygen cylinder? We have so much in common.
2
  
2
Why don't you listen to your heart and go out with me? (holding stethoscope)
2
  
2
Are you a med student? Because you've just aced the anatomy of my heart.
2
  
2
Do you have an inhaler? 'Cause you took my breath away.
6
2
4
You must be a catheter, because you're draining all my worries away.
1
  
1
You must be a cast, because you've set my broken heart.
1
  
1
Are you a doctor of love? Because you're always giving me a check-up... and finding something new to love every time.
1
  
1
You must be an EMT, because you're always saving lives... including mine from boredom.
1
  
1
You're so cute, I need an EpiPen to stop my heart from racing... and also to make sure it stays that way.
1
  
1
Did you damage my cerebellum? Because I'm falling all over the place for you.
1
  
1
I'm feeling a little off today. Will you turn me on?
1
  
1
My love for you burns stronger than my urinary tract infection.
3
1
2
Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to roll by again?
1
  
1
Honey, you're so sweet you're gonna put me in DKA!
1
  
1
Are you a scrub cap? Because you're on my mind all the time.
1
  
1
When you walked in the door your beauty hit me so hard that I have a priapism from all the trauma.
1
  
1
Wanna play 'Doctor', Doctor?
1
  
1
Are you on call? Because you've been on my mind all day.
1
  
1
You must be in trauma care, because I'm falling hard for you.
1
  
1
You give me premature ventricular contractions.
1
  
1
Are you the nurse's station? Because I want to spend all my breaks with you.
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1

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My sudden protracted cardiac arrhythmia makes me think I'm falling for you. If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree. You're like an N95 mask—irreplaceable and essential.