GotLines - Pick Up Lines, Jokes and Insults

Law Pick Up Lines for Students, Layers and Paralegals

Law can be a serious profession, so why not lighten the mood with some funny law related pick up lines. Flirt at the court house with your favorite paralegals and lawyers or those sweet law students.

Top Law Pick Up Lines

You must be a verdict, because you've sentenced me to love.
Would you like to see my power of attorney?
If loving you is a crime, then I'm looking at a life sentence.
Did it hurt...when you fell from heaven? Because I know a good personal injury lawyer.
There is no burden of proof for how fine you are.
I hope you don't object to this leading question but, you want me don't you?
I love you beyond a reasonable doubt.
Wanna check what's inside this brief?
Are you a legal memo? Because you've outlined everything I need to be happy.
I'm going to sue the pants off you.
Wanna come over to where I have a reasonable expectation of privacy?
If everyone is the general rule, to me you are the only exception.
Together we will build an irrevocable trust.
If you're my client, I'll get you off. If you aren't, the offer still stands.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you could be entitled to compensation.
I booked us a library discussion room so we can study the 'Laws of Attraction' without disruption.
I just want you to know that, despite having no legal obligation to, I will come to your aid if you require it.
I believe that it's in our best interest to comply with section 69 of the act.
You've unjustly enriched me, let me give you some restitution.
Is that an amicus curiae or are you just happy to see me?
Are you a statute of limitations? Because I've got no time left to waste—I want you now.
I am a good lawyer and I like to be on top of things.
Don't take this the wrong way, counselor, but I think you should drop your suit.
Wanna play with my Jurisdiction?
I know a great way I could serve justice today, should I stop by your office?
You're in law school? Would you like to go over my briefs?
Are you up for some intercourse from which spurious issue may arise?
I've been applying strict scrutiny to your body, and it's compelling.
I hear you're of good fame and character. Just disclothes, and I'll admit you.
I may be a criminal defense attorney, but my clients aren't the only ones I get off.
How about a notice of motion?
Baby I'm gonna proximately cause you to cum tonight.
If being hot was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
If I'm willing to create some legal relations with you, will you let me into your contract?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Was it a work-related injury? We can sue for damages.
How'd you like to come back to my place for a little actus reus?
I'll be the accessory if you'll be the principal.
It's not about how big your gavel is, it's about how hard you bang it.
I got your jurisdiction right here.
Tomorrow morning I'll have personal jurisdiction over you because we're about to make some significant contacts.
I'd have to plead insanity if I ever left you.
How about we head back to my place, and we make a nudum pactum?
Wanna examine my brief?
I won't object to your excited utterances.
Your booty is asking for some cruel and unusual punishment.
I might need you to take a closer look at these briefs.
Can I get your number? One call, that's all.
Wnna submit to binding arbitration?
You are crushing my heart, the way the rule against perpetuities crushes a contingent remainder.

Getting the most from Lawyer Pick Up Lines

Legal lines run on the profession's own drama: objections, verdicts, guilty parties and things held against you. Law students trade these through exam season, and the bar — in both senses — is the natural venue. Precision earns respect here; a correctly-deployed habeas corpus joke tells a lawyer you did the reading.

The "is it illegal to look that good" family is the entry level. The procedural deep cuts are for people who bill by the hour.

You must be a mala prohibitum offense, because you have FINE written all over you!
Want to make some motions together?
Your body is 'ultra vires', it's beyond my power to control myself around you.
Are you a closing argument? Because you've convinced me to fall for you.
You must be a legal brief, because you're concise, captivating, and to the point.
Are you an objection? Because you just overruled my better judgment.
You must be precedent, because everything about you sets the standard.
I'm no attorney, but I'd argue we're a perfect match.
Are you cross-examining me? Because I feel like I'm under your spell.
You must be a contract, because I want to sign my heart over to you.
Are you a deposition? Because I want to hear everything about you.
My love for you is like stare decisis—it's binding and unshakable.
Are you my law professor? Because I could study you all day.
You must be a judge, because you've ruled over my heart.
Are you a statute? Because you've codified everything I've ever wanted.
You must be tort law, because you've caused some serious emotional damage—in the best way.
I'd waive all my rights just to spend more time with you.
Are you an affidavit? Because you've sworn to steal my heart.
You must be habeas corpus, because you've captured my soul and brought it to court.
Is your name Justice? Because you're what I've been searching for.
Are you voir dire? Because you're selecting all the right qualities in me.
You must be a Supreme Court case, because you're making history in my heart.
Are you a legal precedent? Because my feelings for you are unavoidable.
Are you legal research? Because I could spend hours poring over your details.
You must be a discovery document, because every detail about you is a treasure.
Are you a settlement? Because you've resolved all the chaos in my heart.
You must be a cross-appeal, because you've completely turned my heart around.
Are you a motion for summary judgment? Because I'm ready to decide you're the one.
You must be strict liability, because I'm falling for you, no matter what.
Are you a jury verdict? Because you're unanimous perfection.
You must be a law review article, because you're so well-composed and brilliant.
You must be my opening statement, because you've set the tone for something amazing.
Are you a non-compete clause? Because I'd never want anyone else but you.
You must be cross-examination, because you're asking all the right questions of my heart.
Are you due diligence? Because every time I'm around you, I'm extra cautious with my feelings.
You must be pro bono, because loving you feels like a gift.
Are you an appellate brief? Because you've completely overturned my world.
You must be a class action, because everyone wants to be around you.
Are you a leading question? Because the answer to being with you is always yes.
You must be a witness stand, because I'd confess everything to you.
Are you equitable relief? Because being with you makes everything fair.
You must be statutory interpretation, because you bring clarity to my life.
You must be an injunction, because you've stopped me in my tracks.
Are you a bill in Congress? Because I'd vote for you every single time.
You must be arbitration, because you bring peace to my heart.
Are you burden of proof? Because I'm ready to prove I'm worth your time.
You must be a severability clause, because no matter what happens, I want you in my life.
Are you attorney-client privilege? Because everything feels safe with you.
You must be my dream case, because you're everything I've been working for.
I don't know if I have a standing, but I'd love to court you.
You don't wanna go home with me? Objection!