Baby I'm gonna proximately cause you to cum tonight.
If being hot was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
If I'm willing to create some legal relations with you, will you let me into your contract?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Was it a work-related injury? We can sue for damages.
How'd you like to come back to my place for a little actus reus?
I'll be the accessory if you'll be the principal.
It's not about how big your gavel is, it's about how hard you bang it.
I got your jurisdiction right here.
Tomorrow morning I'll have personal jurisdiction over you because we're about to make some significant contacts.
I'd have to plead insanity if I ever left you.
How about we head back to my place, and we make a nudum pactum?
I won't object to your excited utterances.
Your booty is asking for some cruel and unusual punishment.
I might need you to take a closer look at these briefs.
Can I get your number? One call, that's all.
Wnna submit to binding arbitration?
You are crushing my heart, the way the rule against perpetuities crushes a contingent remainder.
You must be a mala prohibitum offense, because you have FINE written all over you!
Want to make some motions together?
Your body is 'ultra vires', it's beyond my power to control myself around you.
Are you a closing argument? Because you’ve convinced me to fall for you.
You must be a legal brief, because you’re concise, captivating, and to the point.
Are you an objection? Because you just overruled my better judgment.
You must be precedent, because everything about you sets the standard.
I’m no attorney, but I’d argue we’re a perfect match.
Are you cross-examining me? Because I feel like I’m under your spell.
You must be a contract, because I want to sign my heart over to you.
Are you a deposition? Because I want to hear everything about you.
My love for you is like stare decisis—it’s binding and unshakable.
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