Funny Puns

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

The Best Puns

How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
A good acupuncture is a jab well done.
Addicted to brake fluid? Nah, I can stop any time. (Mark Foerster)
Dyslexics of the world, untie!!
Tried to play my shoehorn - all I got was footnotes
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.

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