Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you galvanized steel? Because you're strong, dependable, and unbreakable.
Are you a pipe wrench? Because you've got a firm grip on my heart.
You must be a pipe wrench, because you've tightened all my loose ends.
Are you a plunger? Because you've cleared out all the negativity in my life.
Are you a plumber's torch? Because you've welded yourself to my heart.
You must be a basin wrench, because you're perfect for all the hard-to-reach places.
My heart doesn't need fixing, but I'd still call you every time.
Are you a pipe threader? Because you've threaded your way through my life.
You're like the perfect fitting tool—meant just for me.
You must be my plumber's tape, because you seal all my doubts.
Are you a flux brush? Because you've applied the perfect touch to my heart.
You're the only tool I'd never loan out.
Are you a hand auger? Because you've cleared all the blockages in my day.
You must be a hacksaw, because you've cut through all my defenses.
Are you a Teflon tape? Because you've wrapped my heart up tight.
Are you a compression fitting? Because you make everything come together.
You're my favorite tool in the shed—reliable and irreplaceable.
Are you a water heater? Because you've got me feeling warm all over.
You must be a faucet, because you've turned my heart on.
Are you a leaky pipe? Because I'm dripping with excitement every time I see you.
