Reading work jokes at work is still work, right? We like that, so we put up some work jokes to enjoy when we're bored at work.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
I don't work weekends, or any other day that ends in Y.
One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday, eight hours.
Morning is the time when everyone is jealous of unemployed.
What do your boss and a slinky have in common? They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go.
The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.
How can you tell when an engineer is an extrovert. He stares at YOUR shoes while he talks to you.
Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are held to discuss it.
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
Moaning about other people not working really makes the day fly by.
He works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
A tidy desk is the sign of a sick mind.
A camel can work 10 days without drinking, I can drink 10 days without working.
Run your idea up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes it.
He hit rock bottom and started to dig.
