Funny Puns

Puns are great and quick way to make someone laugh or give you a nasty look! Give it a go and see if your friend has a sense of humor. It's always funnier if they're slow to get the pun.

The Best Puns

What do you call a train loaded with toffee? A chew chew train.
The Irish government is wealthy because its capital is always Dublin.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"
What would you get if you crossed a donkey with an owl? A smart ass which knows it all.
A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It's shift work
What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
A good pun is its own reword.
Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating, always use condiments.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
With fronds like these, who needs anemones?

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