Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
You must be a class action, because everyone wants to be around you.
I have a van out the back and there is free candy in it.
Are you a socket wrench? Because you've tightened my love for you.
I want to floss with your pubic hair.
Are you a leading question? Because the answer to being with you is always yes.
Are you a lure because I'm hooked on your smile.
You're like a perfectly wired chandelier—classy, elegant, and always shining.
Are you a dimmer switch? Because you've set the perfect mood in my heart.
You must be a three-way switch, because you've lit up every room in my life.
Are you an anchor because you're holding me down with your charm.
Do you have a fishing rod license because I want to cast my line and catch you.
Are you an electric heater? Because you've warmed my heart completely.
Hey, you're beautiful. Sit on my face?
Are you burden of proof? Because I'm ready to prove I'm worth your time.
You must be a worm because you're wriggling your way into my heart.
Are you a fish with scales of gold because I'd love to reel you in.
Do you have a boat license because I want to take you for a ride.
You must be an electrical panel, because you're controlling all my circuits.
You must be an epidemiologist, because you're spreading love and happiness wherever you go... including to my heart.
Are you a battery? Because you're the energy that keeps me going.
