Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
Are you a fisherman because I think you're a reel catch.
You must be a doctor, because you've just healed my broken heart.
Are you a black hole? Because you suck the joy and happiness out of every room you enter.
Is your dad a monster? Because you're a terrifying creature that haunts my nightmares.
Do you have a mirror? Because I need something to shatter to escape the horror of your presence.
I promise, I'll last longer than a bottle of the finest Bordeaux.
Are you a disease? Because being near you feels like a slow and painful death.
I make a great steak dinner and have the perfect bottle set aside for just this occasion.
Are you ready to toast to something unforgettable—like you and me?
The view of the full moon in my vineyard is magnificent ... would you like to come over with a few friends and see it?
Is your mom a witch? Because your presence is a curse upon my soul.
This year's been good, but meeting you just made it the best one yet.
Are you a sewer? Because you're a cesspool of filth and nobody wants to be near you.
Do you have a name or can I just call you regret?
Are you a T-joint? Because you're the missing piece in my life.
People say I'm a barrel of fun.
I must be a patient, because I'm hooked on you like an IV drip.
The way you look at me is making me turn as red as that glass of wine, please don't stop.
My feelings for you flow as smoothly as water through a new pipe.
