Insults. Something about sticks and stones and words that never hurt? Well, whoever said that obviously missed all of the good insults. We try and keep it clean around here, but you will find just about everything on this list for your name calling needs.
The Best Insults
The brakes on your car are about as effective as using a wet paper towel to stop a speeding train.
Your car's fuel efficiency is a cruel joke, devouring gasoline like a ravenous beast and leaving your wallet in tears.
The seats in your car are as uncomfortable as sitting on a bed of sharp nails, punishing your backside with each jolt.
Do you believe in love at first shock?
Is your name Touchdown? Because I wanna scream it every time I score with you.
Are you a playbook? Because I can't seem to figure you out, but I want to.
Are you a football game? Because I can't wait to get you on my schedule.
Can I have a moment alone with your cooking? I'd like to savor every bite.
Hey chef, are you a fan of fusion cuisine? Because I think we'd make a great pairing.
Your cooking is so good, I'd even eat my vegetables for you.
You're like a Michelin star chef, but even better.
Hey chef, do you have a secret recipe for love?
I must be a good customer because I keep getting served by the most beautiful bartender in the place.
Are you a sandcastle? Because I want to build a future with you.
Do you have a stethoscope? Because I think we could take our relationship to the next level... and listen to each other's hearts beat as one.
Is your name Trout? Because you're making my heart trouting along with excitement.
Are you eggnog? Because you're smooth, sweet, and I can't get enough of you.
Are you a gift under the tree? Because I've been good all year and I deserve you.
I wasn't planning on staying up late tonight, but meeting you made it worth it.
Are you counting down too? Because I'm counting the moments until I see you smile again.
